Preterm Premature Rupture Of Membranes

Warning: Undefined variable $hidetitle in /customers/d/6/5/inkan.se/httpd.www/prom/prom_header.php on line 153 Preparing for a Preemie

The first week: your partner, older children, and others

Your partner or spouse
Keep in mind that friends and family members often focus only on how you and your baby are doing, and may not recognize that your partner or spouse is also experiencing great stress, anxiety, and even depression. As a result, partners may keep their feelings bottled up in an effort to "be strong." Encourage your partner to take time out to do things that are relaxing and restorative, especially if you were on bedrest and your partner has already spent weeks or months caring for you, your home, and your family. In addition, take time during this first week and beyond to listen to your partner's fears and concerns and encourage your partner to find ways to express and manage those feelings.

Also, as discussed earlier, many NICU and PROM parents also experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) during or after their babies' NICU stay. PTSD is distinct from postpartum depression and can involve flashbacks, nightmares, obsessive behavior, and panic attacks. If you believe that your partner is suffering from PTSD, talk with your health care practitioner immediately regarding treatment options or referral to a mental health care specialist.

You may find that your relationship with your partner or spouse becomes strained or difficult if you have very different expectations about how much time each of you will spend at the hospital, at home, at work, and with any children you have at home. Set aside some time during this first week, and again in subsequent weeks, to listen to how each other is feeling and empathize without trying to convince the other about what the "right" amount of time and involvement is.

Older children
If you have children at home, start preparing them to see their new brother or sister. You can show them photos of your baby or other preemies (also, some NICUs have preemie-sized dolls) so they become familiar with how tiny the babies are and all the tubes and wires they will see in the NICU. Although it might seem scary at first, it is generally less frightening to children to see their sibling in person than the images of their sibling and the NICU they might create in their imaginations. Your older children may want to bring drawings or other decorations they have made for their new sibling's isolette or crib when they visit.

Also, set aside some time during this first week to spend time with your other children, especially if you have been away on hospital bedrest for an extended period. Taking time to reconnect with your children will help you understand their concerns and feelings, and will help alleviate any jealousy about the new baby getting so much attention. Many of the PROM list members have reported that their older children have a difficult time bonding with them after returning from the hospital, or that their children show a strong preference for the other parent or another caretaker. While this can be heartbreaking, be aware that this is a transitional phase and your relationship will improve with time.

Friends and family
Keeping friends and family informed of your baby's status and progress can be time-consuming and emotionally exhausting. Consider implementing a phone tree system or creating a website or blog to share photos and post updates. One free website you may find useful for creating an online journal is www.caringbridge.org. Also, some hospitals have their own blog site that patients can use to post updates.

Next page >>

Article by Jodi Donnelly, Mommy to Anthony PROM @ 16 weeks, born in 2004 @ 31.5 weeks, 41 days in NICU and now thriving
and Kay Squires, september 2005
Special thanks to Inkan, Jen, Jody, Lise, Sonya, Valerie, Beth and the members of the PROM list



		Preparing for a PROM Preemie

• Preapring for a
PROM Preemie

• Advice

• Meet your new
health care team

• Preparing for
delivery

• The first 48 hours

• The first week:

- Your baby

- Taking care of
Yourself

- Your partner, older
children, and others

• Bonding with
your baby

• Loss in the NICU

• Remember

• Resources

• Appendix A:
Creating a Preemie
Birth Plan

• Show all