This was my first pregnancy. I was due
march 21 1997.
In september my grandpa Jim died, and I
went home to my parents for his funeral.
Only an hour before I was about to get
to the airport for the trip home, I
started to bleed. I thought I was about
to miscarry, but my aunt who is a
midwife told me that as long as I felt
no pain it could be ok. I blead heavily
on the flight home, and hoped that the
baby would still be safe in there. This
was just past 12 weeks, and I remember
thinking that the worst fears were over
by now.
As we didn't know if the baby was on
its way out, I had an ultrasound
examination that showed that the baby
was fine. I didn't get any answers why
I blead so heavily, and I continued to
bleed for about 4 weeks, but the first
week was the most. I wasn´t put on
bedrest but were adviced to take it very
easy and was home from work for 2 weeks.
The ultrasound at 17 weeks showed no
problems either. All was fine until
november 30, 23 weeks and 5 days along.
I was in a hurry that morning, and
didn´t have much time wondering why I
suddenly started to have problems
holding my bladder. I went to work but
soon realized this could not be normal -
it was too much and I leaked even if I
had recently peed. I called my midwife
to ask what to do.
Magnus was in Stockholm this day, so
when my midwife told me to go to L&D to
check it up I had to get help from a
friend at work, John.
I'll never forget that drive. It was a
beautiful sunny and snowy day. John
dropped me off and I went into a room
where they tested the liquid with a
lackmus strip. It turned blue - which
meant amniotic fluid. By then I was
turning into a state where everything
that happened felt so unreal. I didn´t
understand what this meant, I never
heard of it.
They told me to stay put, and not leave
the chair where I was sitting. I was
rolled in a wheelchair into the room at
the end of the hall in the delivery
corridor. Every 30 minutes a nurse stuck
her head in and asked me if I felt any
contractions yet. I couldn´t believe she
thought I was having the baby because I
wasn´t at all ready for that. Also, the
dr told me that they would try to save
the baby this early. I called Magnus
cellphone and left a message that I was
admitted and that my water broke. He
took the first flight he could back
home, and came to my terribly lonely
room that evening. I could hear other
women screaming while having their baby
and I felt like hope was up for us as
they put us in this special "forgotten
room".
In the evening they moved me to the
womens clinic as I wasn´t contracting
yet. I was in shock and have very hard
to remember this time. First week at
hospital was worst. The situation was
unacceptable and I felt like someone put
me in a prison and killed my baby. I
cried and still as another day went by I
gained some hope.
The docs told me that if I went to 25+0
weeks they would drive me to Linköping
(1,5 hours away) if I started to
deliver. Before that we should let
nature have its will. When I was almost
25 weeks I got a fever, and almost
panicked as fever was a sign of
infection and infection would mean the
end of pregnancy. Magnus was called in
from work, and I had a "crash-course"
how to deliver a baby. I was dead scared
- but nothing happened and the fever was
gone.
I spent 3 weeks at the hospital with
daily checking of heartbeat, temp 3
times a day and only bathroom
priveligies. Weekly ultrasounds.
Christmas was coming up, and they let me
come home, still at bedrest.
Magnus was terrific during this time. He
had to do everything at home, work, take
care of
me and the home. We spent Christmas and
New Years Eve in bed. New Years I walked
10 steps to a window where I could look
at some firework. I also went into the
hospital a couple of times for
ultrasound checkups, blood tests etc. At
one occation the AFI had raised alittle
and was almost within the normal range
but very low. I was leaking all the
time, and sometimes I could se small
stains of blood. As soon as there was
blood I called the hospital even if it
was very little.
After a total of 7 weeks at bedrest
Anton was born with emergency C-section
early in the morning january 16 1997 at
30+5 weeks weighing 4 lbs (1820 grams).
He kicked a foot out. 3 days before I
felt a couple of contractions (probably)
that calmed down. Maybe I started to
dilate by then, I dont know. I didnt
even know that contractions didn't even
hurt as much as when having a period.
But I do felt when Anton kicked his leg
out, that was more like what I thought
contractions should feel like.
We went in by car after midnight, and
after about an hour trying to measure
CTG and contractions an internal exam
showed that Anton decided to enter the
world by foot. Then again I got that
feeling that things happened that were
unreal. 30 minutes after his foot were
discovered, I was in the operating room
surrounded by people dressed in white
and green with covered mouths. One of
them was Magnus.
I never heard Anton cry, and I couldn´t
tell when he was taken out of me. I was
tied to a bed with head down and feet
up, leaning at my left side. It was
uncomfortable and I was very numb and
had truble breating, feeling ill. I was
so scared.
Someone said that the baby looked fine.
A little later someone came by very
hasty with a very small package where a
tiny face could be seen. The nurse said
"Hello mommy" and let the baby kiss my
cheek before they ran off to the NICU.
Magnus went with them.
Anton was a healthy preemie, and was on
CPAP for 2 days, and came out of the
incubator after a week. He gained weight
well and didn´t get any infections. I
spent all my
"should-have-been-pregnant-time" by
Anton at the hospital trying to catch up
with the things that had happened. It
took us over a week to find out a proper
name for him.
During this time I had found
Preemie-friends all over the world
through a mailing list called Preemie-l.
They were a great support and I am still
writing several of them.
Anton came home when he was 6 weeks old
- 4 weeks before his due date. He got
asthma at 6 months old and outgrew it at
3½ years old. He has been throwing up
very easily, but it never affected his
weight gain and it seems to be better
with age too. This january he celebrated
his fourth birthday, and I can now say
that he is bright, smart, funny and
adorable boy. We are so lucky to have
him with us! I am kissing him many times
extra every night thinking of those of
us that didn´t get a chanse to keep
their baby.
I would love to have another baby now,
and hope that I will soon however Magnus
does not want more kids. This is a
problem for me now, as I have overcome
the fears of getting pregnant again I am
having a hard time accepting some kind
of "unwilling-husband-infertility". He
think it is too late, but I feel like I
needed this time to get settled after
the PROM experience with Anton.
Hugs to all miracle babies - every one
is!
/Inkan
Born at 35 weeks myself
The story has been updated since I first
wrote it down. Here are the longer
version:
/hem.passagen.se/inkan
/
My Pregnant After PROM -
Pregnancy
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