After a long battle with dealing with
the lost of our sons
Esar Alfred & Naszeem Shakur we finally
got pregnant 14 months later. I got
pregnant with my second set of twins 14
months after the loss of my first set
of twins boys. I was doing pretty good
and even got the cerclage put in as my
dr.promise me at 13 weeks. I was
experiening some gas pain all day. When
I got home my hubby told me he want to
go run an errand but in my heart i
didn't want him to go so I told him I
was feeling funny and to cancel his
errand.
I went to sleep for two hours woke up
went to the bathroom to pee and wipe my
self and all I saw was lots and lots of
blood I look in the toilet and could
not see the bottom of the toilet. My
dr. told me to go to the er right away
so one of the dr at the er did an exam
and saw no bleeding then did u/s and my
wondertwins were doing wonderful.
So I was sent home and my dr put me on
bedrest. Two weeks later I started to
feel like I could get up to wash dishes
and after 15 minutes of standing there
a gush came down I was so scare to look
I though my water broke so my hubby
took the tissue and went down my
underwear and gently wipe blood.
I was rush to the er and I was 15
weeks. The other dr who saw me there at
13 weeks which was 2 weeks before had
exam me and told me she remember seeing
me here not to long ago and hope
everything was fine. Sure enough the
wondertwins were fine. Nov 18, 2000 my
tail bone was hurting so bad I went to
the er on my own. Once again my hubby
was not home and once again my dr was
out of town. The dr at the er told me
everything was fine and sent me home. I
call my hubby and told him the
situtaion and told him I think he
should stay in with me for the night.
My hubby was on his way home and I took
car service home. At this time I'm 19
weeks. The moment I walk in to my home
my water bag to baby A had broke. I did
not change no clothes I was soak and
wet and
turn right back around and caught a cab
to the er. The nurse
at the er said we just sent u home and
I told her that my
water had broke. She explain to me that
there was nothing they could do at 19
weeks.
I was admitted and the u/s was done to
confirmed that my
water had broke. The covering dr want
to take the cerclage out and induced
with out not even letting me discuss it
with my husband. My husband for some
strange reason came to the hospital
because he kept calling home and he
felt this weird feeling sure enough his
gut feelings were right he knew
something was wrong once again. He
immediatley started to cry, he could
not belive we were going to lose our
babies again. I told my husband that
the dr wants me to deliver but my
husband didn't want to do that as long
as I was not contracting.
The next day came and the dr tried to
convince us to induce but God is good,
my private dr came strolling in and
said they were not going to touch me as
long as I don't contract, get fever,
whiteblood cell stay good. I was in the
hospital for a week and doing good. The
water even fullback in not all the way
but enough to help his lung. But
unfortunately the water came back out
and the baby came out the bag, and his
tiny foot was in my cervix. The stitch
was taken out and I started contracting
right away. 6 hrs
later I was given suppostories to
induce the labor. I deliver Ali Ezra &
Khallid Fuquan. They were the cutest
little babies I ever saw. Ali Ezra was
13 oz and 10 1/2 inches and Khallid
Fuquan was 15 oz and 10 1/2 inches. I
was talking to my sons induvidually and
told them both how much I love them,
and we try like hell but mommy had to
said good bye.
That was the hardest thing I ever in my
life had to do is face all 4 of my
children and tell them good bye. I was
grief stricken that now I lost 4 boys
with in 1 yr. My hubby was sleeping
thru all this he was so tired from all
the hrs he stay up with me. My husband
didn't see our first set of sons but
he saw our second set and he think the
babies look like him I let him live. It
does get pretty hard around mother's
day and the hoildays knowing we will
never have that opportunity to be with
our sons.
Hopefully God will bless us with our
miracle baby.
May 9, 1999 & november 25, 2000 we will
always cherish the memory of our 4
angels.
<< PROM #1
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