By Bonnie Moore, Canada, ky USAMe and my husband we married January 1, 1998. We so much wanted to have children. Little did we now on our journey to have a baby, that we would go through so many obstacles.
PROM at 24 weeks + 3 days. Delivery at 24 weeks + 3 days.
Story added: 2003-02-13
My first loss, I found out I was pregnant in April of 98 at 4 weeks, and started the bleeding, but my doctor said it was a low laying placenta, at 6 weeks I miscarried turns out it was a blighted ovum. I Miscarried on May 16,1998 We were told that the likely chance of another miscarriage was not likely.
I became pregnant again 2 years later, June of 2000. Went to the same doctor. I was 4 weeks pregnant and i was spotting and then at 8 weeks July 8, 2000 i miscarried again a blighted ovum. Same reason from doctor again that it was just a low laying placenta. And to think that I was told again that it is just one of those things that happens and noone knows why.
Became pregnant again in Nov., 2000. I was 4 weeks pregnant when i found out. This time when they did an ultrasound I was so excited there was a heartbeat. Again it was the same doctor who does not specialize in pregnancy problems. Once more the bleeding started and I was 10 weeks pregnant when the babies heart had stopped beating I was then scheduled for a 3rd d&c on jan.,2001. How could this be that God has chosen me for all the problems? How can he take yet another baby that was so much loved and wanted. I finally got smart and moved doctors. And had all the testing to see why I kept have multiple miscarriages. everything came out negative. I was fine and my husband was fine. Found out again for the 4th time in june, 2001 that I was pregnant. I tried to keep my self occupied by doing miscarriage research. because I had decided it was going to happen again. and i was trying to find a way to prevent it. I bought all the books, did all the researching on the common causes. Well I went to a new doctor and found out that i have low progesterone levels, and was put on progesterone. We did all the blood tests during the pregnancy to see if things were going as planned. All is well. A baby was there with a beating heart. I went through my share of blood tests and ultrasounds during this pregnancy. I had went to a local hospital and was cramping and they did an ultrasound on me on Sept 13, 2001. The baby was still alive the heart was still beating. The radiologist said that is was a very healthy one... So he told me to go to the bathroom and empty my bladder and he would do a transvaginal ultrasound. I did.. When I laid back down. He started doing his thing.
When I noticed that the baby's heart beat had been 165 before bath rooming and that it had dropped to 70 and then to 65. Little did I know that I was watching my angel die. My mother was there with me. The baby turned his head and looked at us and then waved his has as if saying good-bye, then slowly he placed his hands on his chest as if saying a prayer, his legs were folded under him. I asked the tech if the baby was dying and he said the baby was probably just asleep. But I know better I always knew when something was wrong with my body and with my baby. Its a mothers instinct when something is going wrong.. So I broke down crying. They sent me back upstairs to my room. And the doctor came in with a doppler. It was 20 minutes later. The heartbeat was gone. I was scheduled in the morning for another ultrasound just to see if it was fetal demise. My heart sank the next morning when they came and got me I told them the baby had already died. But they went on and done another ultrasound. The baby had died just minutes after the ultrasound. The doctor who i had went to for my previous miscarriages wanted to do a d&c and I refused to do it I told him i was going to my other doctor for a 2nd confirmation. And I did. I got to the other hospital that evening around 3:00p.m. and my doctor wanted to induce me at 8:00p.m. after she had confirmed with ultrasound that the baby had died. So I agreed to do it.. At 8:00 p.m. the nurse came in and administered the prostaglan in my cervix. the doctor told me that it would take 12 to 14 hours for me to have the baby.
At 8:30p.m. I started hurting really bad and they gave me 2 shots of statall and a percoset. It did not seem to help the nurse wanted me to have an epideral and i did not want one... Finally later around 1:20a.m. I had the sudden urge to go to the rest room, they put me on a bed pan. the nurse left my mother to take care of me. I kept asking my mother to check to see if I was using the bathroom and she said yes and I then told her that I felt the baby coming out. She said nothing was coming out and I told her yes there was. Then a second later the baby and the sac came out into the bed pan. My mother called the nurse and they came and got the baby. I was 15 to 16 weeks pregnant. My doctor came back and brought the baby with her for me to see. It was a boy. My heart sank deep into my chest. They did an alltopsy on him and discovered he had died from amniotic band syndrome. And his cord was wrapped 3 times around his neck and a blood clot was in the placenta... We had a funeral for him. Mommies angel and Daddies angel. Freddie Lee Allen Moore, Jr.
When you are in such a state of depression because the loss of a child the last thing's you want to hear are you are young you can have more children, it was the lords will, it was for the best and the best one is. maybe there were things in your life that you had done and this is God's punishment to you. I never thought God would punish me by taking a child that I so desperately loved. I found out i was pregnant July, 2002. I was so scared I did not know where to turn. I was afraid the same thing would happen to me.
Maybe God was punishing me. We did all the tests again I had low progesterone levels. So on the progesterone I go. We done millions of ultrasounds checking to see if there were any problems. No bleeding all is going well. On October 3, 2002 I called the doctor I was having allot of pressure and was cramping which I felt were contractions it was happening every few minutes. The doctor had me come in for an ultrasound. while doing the ultrasound the baby had a heart beat and the tech said she would be right back. She came back with someone more experienced. She confirmed that my cervix was funneling. I knew what that meant I was gonna have to have a cerclage put in. They called the doctor's office and the doctor put me in the hospital at 3:00p.m. to do a rescue cerclage. At 6:00p.m. they did the cerclage.
I was so scared because I have a sister in law who had been funneling and when the doctor went to put the stitch in it broke her water at 24 weeks. The baby lived and is fine. I kept asking if the baby was ok was he still in me, yes he was and i was not having any contractions. They kept me over night to make sure I was not going to go into labor i Was 16 weeks. They sent me home on strict bed rest. Only to the bathroom and to doctor appointments and no sitting up what so ever. I finally found out at 19 weeks that I was having a boy. We had already named him Brady Alexander Moore.
On November 25-26 My doctor had me in the hospital because i was having contractions. They did a fetal fibronectin swap test of the cervix which tells you if you will go into labor within a few weeks. Mine came back positive. The doctor said it could be false because they did not know the results with a cerclage in. So it could not be accurate. I had a bladder infection. They sent me home on antibiotics.
On December 1, 2002 I went to the bathroom 5 times in 15 minutes I know something was not right. When I went to the bathroom the last time when I was wiping I felt as if something was sticking out. Oh my God there was something. the babies feet were hanging out.. At 12:30a.m. I called my doctor and told her and she said to come right away. it is a 2 hour drive to get there..
my mother called her back and told her that we would not make it. So she said go to the nearest hospital.
So we did and they were going to fly me out from that hospital to my doctor. but the weather was bad and would not permit it. So the hospital sent and ambulance that morning to come and get me. They put me on brethine and magnesium. And I was dilated to 2 cm. Everything was going good until dec 3, 2002. I started feeling like the babies feet were hanging out again, but the doctor was afraid to check me because i was not leaking water, afraid of breaking the sac, and risk of infection. I told her she might want to stick around that i felt like something was not right and she said that she would call and check on me to see how i was doing.
Around 2:00p.m. i buzzed the nurse and she came in and i told her i was having a hard time breathing so she went and got a machine to check my oxygen level. She hooked me up and told me she would be right back. I felt like something was wrong.. Meantime I am on the bed pan have pressure like i have to Urinate, and have a bowel movement. I asked my mother to check to see if something was coming out and she said no, and a minute later i asked again, because i felt the urge to push and something coming out. I still had in the cerclage. And if i was having the baby i would have to have a c section because he was breech. My mother then checked again and the cord and feet were hanging out. My water sac had ruptured about a minute before i felt him coming out of me, i should have know because it was the same symptoms as my last loss. I go into shock and my mother calls the nurse, telling them something is wrong the baby is hanging out. The nurse came in and was pushing everything back up in me to keep from cutting the flow off the cord, The nurse called the doctors office and told them she needed to speak to the doctor now. She told the doctor the baby was coming out... My room was filled within minutes with doctors and nurses. The NICU nurses and doctors. I was so scared. My doctor came to my room and checked me and asked me to push, but with the cerclage in it would not let Brady come out. If I could have pushed him out he would not make it, because of cutting off the blood flow to him. She took me in for the c section and told me she had to do an ultrasound to see if Brady was still alive, because they could not feel the pulse in the cord anymore. I knew in my heart he had already died.
While doing the ultrasound she said she could not find Brady's heartbeat. I started crying when one of the nurses said his heart was beating it was very faint. They said knock her out. I was out and minutes later at 2:52p.m. Brady Alexander Moore was born.. 1lb 8 ozs and 12 1/2 inches long. My husband got to come in the operation room when they had Brady stabilized to see him. Later I woke up and kept asking over and over if Brady was alive. And finally when I was good and alert I asked if I could see him. they wheeled me into the NICU on the surgery bed to see him... He was the most beautifulist baby i had ever seen. The doctors told me he only had a 20% chance of survival but I knew different. I could feel for the first time that this baby was going to make it.
Brady had his up and down days in the NICU. On December 17, 2002 Brady started having trouble keeping his oxygen levels up. That night I stayed with him during visitation from 8:30p.m. to 10:20p.m. Visitation ends at 10:00p.m. but the nurse told me since he had been having a bad day to stay longer if i would like. When I left I felt like something was not right with him. About 11:45p.m. I asked my mother to call the NICU and see how he was doing. She did not feel well and said she would in a little while because we had just barley left there. At 12:00 I heard the door bell ring at the Ronald Mcdonald House. I jumped up and told mom that Brady had died. She kept telling me it was not Brady but I knew better. I am him mother I can sense when something is wrong. A minute later someone is knocking on our door, and I started crying and telling mom again that Brady had died. She said no he isn't.
When we opened the door it was 2 NICU nurses. I asked them if Brady died and they said that he was having a hard time with his oxygen and that I was needed there now. I thought maybe they want me to calm him down. because when i was with him he would not get agitated and his oxygen levels would go back to normal. When I got to the elevator in the hospital i asked the nurses if they expect Brady to make it, They said no that he was on 100% oxygen. I ran through the NICU doors to find my Brady, my baby, my belly bean, being held by a nurse, no longer hooked up to breathing equipment. I asked the nurse if he had died and she said yes that he had in fact passed away at 12:20a.m. December 18, 2002. She was crying and handed me Brady I knew this was it that I would not get to see him anymore.. I was dying inside. A few minutes later my mother showed up.. She broke down and asked if he had died too. It was such a state of shock for us because he had been doing so well. They had to send me to the emergency room, because of chest pain and to give me a sedative to calm me down. I came back up and held Brady and my mother held him some to. My husband and father showed up. Not knowing what was wrong until they looked in my arms and saw our angel lying there lifeless. Yes yet another angel we loved and wanted so very much had left us to be with God. How could God let this happen for a 5th time. Me and my husband have prayed for one baby for 5 years. When it came to finding out why i had Brady so early. It was never found out it could have been the bladder infection and because I have an incompetent cervix. We had Brady's funeral on December 20, 2002. How could i have another funeral for a child of mine. This is not the way life is suppose to go. Your children are suppose to bury the mother and father not the other way around. The world is cold. God and I don't see eye to eye on my losses. But I learned allot while having Brady for just 15 days. He made such an impact on people, the nurses and doctors in the NICU, my nurse that helped me during my labor and delivery stay, My mother-baby unit nurses. My Babies you are loved and missed so very much not a day goes by that i don't think of you. I will leave you by saying. Most people only dream of seeing angels, I got to hold and see one if only for a moment in time.