By Danielle Garza, Virginia Beach USAI never imagined anything bad would happen to my pregnancy and as the weeks passed I swore we were gonna be that 5% chance that made it through with just an early delivery.
PROM at 19 weeksDelivery at 24 weeks + 2 days.
Story added: 2009-08-06
I have an 8 year old durring his pregancy everything went perfect in fact my water didnt even break it had to be broken in the hospital.
This pregancy began the same perfect with no issues until my 17th week. I started to lightly spot and got scared took myself to the hospital. Ultrasounds were done showing no issues but a placenta that appeared to be a little low near my cervix. I was assured that this isnt that abnormal this early in the pregancy that the placenta would move on its own and the bleeding would stop. I was told to take it easy and the ultrasound looked good baby was thriving. Despit that they took swabs, they completed a couple of paps to test foreverything else. All the blood work came back fine and the triple screen told of no defects on the baby.
Another week went by with no issues and alot less spotting but I continued to wear a pad just in case. It was a Saturday when my whole world began to come crashing down. I got up to use the batheroon at midnight I was 19 weeks exactly. The toilet had clot in it and some liquid passed I thought I was miscarring. The clot reminded me of what i imagined the mucus plug would look like round bloody and liquid following. I was devistated I was sure I had lost the baby. On monday I rushed into my doctors explained my symptoms and he preformed an ultrasound and another pap. He told me I was fine he assumed I wasnt hydrating myself enough and sent me on my way. A week later we were sheduled to have another ultrasound to find out the babies sex. At That appointment they could see the baby,his heart, and the kidneys they couldnt see much else. The ultrasound lady told me I might have pprom and sent me to a specialist to get a better look at
the baby. When my doctor entered the room I aksed him about pprom and he said there is no way that can be whats going on cause "you said your bleeding not leaking fluid" I stood there amazed and asked well maybe I am but Im wearing a pad so I wouldn't even know" He than went on to tell me he was the doctor and I didnt know what I was talking about.
4 days later my husband and I met with the high risk specialist, they did an ultrasound. We were completly caught off ground when he looked at us and said, "Theres no measurable pockets of fliud we suggest you abort". He told us we didnt have to decide now it was alot to take in he would give us a week. So I GOT HOME and ran search engine after search engine praying for a little bit of hope.
I talked to my family and I serched more on the internet the odds of making it to viabilty were not good less than a 5% chance. A week later we went in and met with a the risk specialist we had decided to terminate. I remember he turned on the ultrasound and we saw a raging healthy heartbeat and the head measurements had gotten bigger. I sat on that table before I could say terminate I started to feel overwelmingly dizzy. My heart started to race, I started to feel the whole room closing in on me, my breathing started to get shallow so I got off the table and sat next to my husband. We told the doctor we would think about it more.
When we got home our biggest concern was the life of this child. The child may having breathing issues- lungs not developed or muscle issues from not being able to move enough due to the lack of fluid. Ontop of that all the surgeries from being born so premature. Once again we thought the best thing would be to terminate. I called the doctor 3 days later (21 weeks) and asked to have the fluid pockets re evaluted sometimes the fluid comes back. My doctor took me in that day and exmined once again no measurable pockets , but, baby was getting bigger. Baby was exactly where thee should be although we still couldn't tell if it was a boy or girl due to no fluid.
I had told myself if there wasn't any fluid still I would terminate so I made the appoint for 2 days later.
By the next morning I realized It wasn't for me to decide. Because If I terminated I would always wonder in the back of my mind "maybe we made the wrong decsion". I couldn't live with that doubt always hanging over in the back of my mind. So, I was destined to bedrest for the next three weeks till we hit 24 weeks. After that I would be admitted to the hospital and recieve steriod shots till the baby was born.
The next few appointment were fine, everything was looking better. The fluid wasn't leaking as much, baby was kicking and getting bigger with every ultrasound.
I was in the homestreth 23 weeks and 5 days, when something odd happened. I had taken a nap, then gone into use the batheroom and instead of seeing clear fluid on my pad- I found greenish-blackish looking discharge. It reminded me so much of the babies first poop. I remebered reading that when a baby was in destress often they will release that first poop called meconium. I called the doctor he said not to work it was just my body being normal and maybe a start of an infection. He will see me in 3 days.
My doctor conviced me over and over NO BIG DEAL. So, I listened to him.
That last weekend at home was so exciting but a little nerve racking knowing that monday I would be entering the hospital for maybe weeks. The plan was my best friend would jion me at dr appointment to the ultrasound and then husband would leave early from work to take me to the hospital.
Monday morning I hadn't sleep the entire night before. As I got up with my husband I was having cramping and brownish liquid/ tiny grayish matter was dropping into the toilet. I was sure I was going into labor but only had 3 hours till I saw the doctor so I waited it out.
We arrived at the doctors, I mentioned I thought I was going into labor while I hopped up onto the table as I had done a million times before. He started the ultrasound I didn't see the heart flickering. Shortly after he told us the baby had passed. I told him again I'm having contractions. He said I was emotional cause I had just been told the baby had died. He then said he would call hospital so they could start the inducement procedure. The hospital said they would call me later cause they were to busy for me right now. Basically people were having babies born alive so I wasn't a priority.
I went home to wait for the call 2 hours went by and still no call from the hospital. I was in pain so much pain. I called them and they told me "they did not have any rooms they were all taken. They were sorry I was in pain but if I came in I would have to be in pain in the hallway." So, I did what I had read about to stop labor drink water and lay on your left side. An hour later I got up to use the bathroom and wiped. As I wiped I felt my 24 week old babies foot. I was having this baby wether this hospital wanted me or not. Hobbled to the car with my hand on my vaginia and laid across the back seat praying this baby would wait till I got to the hospital. The baby was half born when I got to the hospital.
Labor was very fast, the part that took the longest was waiting for the placenta. I remember asking it a boy or a girl? They took a minute and said I believe its a boy but its hard to tell.
Then the question came from the doctors a million questions - Do you want an autospy? Do you want gentic testing? do you want to have a funral? Do you want the hosiptal to cremate? Do you want to name the baby?Do you want to see the baby? Do you want to hold the baby?Do you want pictures? Do you want a keepsake box? Do you want this handmade blanket? Do you want Zac to be clothed durring the picture? There were so many damn questions and papers to sign.
The hardest question was seeing or holding the baby. I was scared what the baby would look like. He looked like a perfect little tiny boy. My biggest regret is I never held him cause I was scared how I would react. I wish to this day I did.
The moral to my story is "don't ever doubt yourself." If you think something is wrong demand to be seen by your doctor and don't take no as answer. You know your body and those motherly insticts are there - trust them.
My little angel Zac was born sleeping and I miss him everyday. I know it'll get easier but I will never forget him.