By Christina, Grayslake,IL USAI had a Dr's appointment the day after I PROM'd and was told there was no amniotic fluid surrounding the baby. I was devastated, as I never suspected my membranes had broken. I had had very heaving bleeding since 11 weeks and apparently the fluid was mixed with so much blood it wasn't possible to tell. The doctors suspect that I PROM'd the day before my appointment because of a huge gush of blood I had, which soaked through two pads.
PROM at 17 weeks + 5 days. Delivery at 19 weeks + 2 days.
Story added: 2009-04-25
My doctors did not give me any hope that my baby would survive. They did not give me any instructions of what to do when I got home, except call them if I developed a fever or went into labor which they said would happen within a week. I came home and immediately started searching the internet for options. By the grace of God, I found this group. I read the stories, ok I admit, mostly just the positive ones. I was inspired and encouraged by the stories I read and was convinced that I could have a positive outcome too.
I joined this group and put myself on bedrest and increased my fluid intake. I read your emails on my cell phone, I don't have a laptop. Responding or sending emails from the cell is very hard, so I settled on just reading your words. On Friday 4/9, I remember that I had read somewhere that IV fluids can be helpful in reaccumulating amniotic fluid, I called my dr and slightly stretched the truth about some stomach issues I was having. The nurse thought that IV hydration was a great idea, unfortunately, the doctor did not. She refused to allow me to come in. My husband and I visited a local Emergency Room later that night and I received 2 liters of fluid. They also did an ultrasound (at my request) and we found that the fluid level had increased from 0 to 3.96cm. I had not had any leaking of fluid, which was so encouraging.
Tuesday 4/14 we had an ultrasound appointment and the fluid had increased to 4.5 cm. The baby was looking great and the heartbeat was a strong 163 beats per minute. We were so encouraged!
Wednesday 4/15 morning I started bleeding profusely, I was soaking pads every 15 minutes and having cramps. I called the doctors office and was sent to the Labor and Delivery Department of the hospital (which was an hour away from home). I was told they had no rooms available and put in a waiting area. They never inquired into how much I was bleeding, or how much pain I had. We sat there for 1/2 hour before my mom arrived and raised hell (sorry). I was immediately put into a room (funny how it magically was available!) The nurse and the residents (it's a teaching hospital) were awful to me. They kept telling me that my baby was going to be deformed, that I should terminate the pregnancy then and there. I requested an ultrasound which a resident performed all the while saying "I'm not seeing a heartbeat" he repeated that like 6 times and I kept telling him I could feel the baby moving. He finally begrudgingly said "oh there's a heartbeat" and got up and walked out of the room. By this time my bleeding had slowed, but the pain was still pretty bad. The resident came back in the room and said "well you have two options, I can keep you here and do nothing for you, or I can send you home" I told him go get my discharge papers ready, I'm getting dressed.
On Thursday 4/16 I felt pretty good, until about 7 pm. The bleeding started again, and so did the pains. I had diarrhea and attributed the pain to that. It didn't feel like uterine pain, as it was in my lower right side only. I fell asleep that night praying to God that if he was going to take my baby, for him to please do it, as we had gone through 8 weeks of thinking we were going to lose the baby already and my mental state was not really good.
At 3 am on Friday 4/17 morning I woke up to go to the bathroom and I felt better, but I also felt like something was different. I remember the last thing I thought before I fell back to sleep was that I didn't feel pregnant anymore.
At 6:45 am I got up to use the bathroom again and when I wiped I felt something. I wiped again and still felt it. I reached back with my hand and felt, it was the umbilical cord. It felt cold, and I knew that this meant the worst. I started hyperventilating. My mom lives with us, and she was still home, so I sent my older boys downstairs to get her. I called my dr's office and waited for a call back...I had to call twice to get someone to call me back. In the meantime, I called my husband and told him to get home as fast as possible. When the doctor finally called me back, she advised me to come to the hospital right away, when I told her it was rush hour and it would probably take me 3 hours to get there, she advised me to go to the nearest hospital, by ambulance. Once my husband got home, we called 911 and within 5 minutes the paramedics arrived. That was the first time I have ever been in an ambulance. Their procedure called for pressure on the pubic bone to try and take pressure off of the cord, it was very strange to have a stranger with their hand up my "nether regions" for about a 1/2 hour.
When we arrived at the hospital, we went right to Labor and Delivery (a different hospital than where I was Weds.) The nurses were great from the moment I arrived. The doctor on call that took care of me was caring, compassionate and very human from the start. She performed an ultrasound and told me that she was very sorry, but that my baby had passed away. She told me that since I was not having any contractions and my cervix was not dilated at all, that she would start giving me Pitocin to induce labor. I have had three c-sections with my older sons, so there was significant risk in laboring, but I wanted to at least try. I received pitocin for 24 hours and never dilated at all.
On Saturday 4/18 I asked the doctor to please assemble her surgery team so we could perform the c-section. I was in excruciating pain, more than I ever had been in, in my life.
The anesthesiologist came to see me and informed me that I would be asleep for the surgery and I said that I preferred to have a spinal and be awake. She said ok, since I had already had spinals 3 other times. I was in the OR within an hour of making my decision to have the surgery. I told the nurses and my doctors that I wanted to see my baby and wanted to have a priest baptize and bless the baby. The surgery started and it was so quiet. No one talked, I could only hear the heart monitor (mine) and the clink of surgical instruments.
Once they took the baby out, the priest came in and asked if the baby had a name. I told him that I didn't know what the baby was, and he said it was a boy. I cried and told him Benjamin. He blessed and baptized Benjamin, then left. I was disappointed, because I wanted to be present, but was glad that it was done, as it was very important to me. Benjamin Joseph weighed a mere 9 ounces, and was 9 inches long. Anatomically he was perfect, which was a huge relief to me, after all of the warnings of deformation from the doctors.
I was given a sedative after the surgery and spent the whole day in a drug induced stupor. I was not able to see Benjamin until the next day. He was beautiful to me, and I marveled at how perfect he was. I kept him with me until Sunday afternoon, just having him in the room was comforting somehow. The priest came back and performed the blessing over, as I really felt that I needed it as part of my closure.
The staff at the hospital was absolutely amazing. I thank God that I ended up at that hospital instead of the hospital I was originally going to deliver at.
My husband and I are doing as well as can be expected, he was an absolute rock the entire time I was in the hospital and the same now that I am home. This tragedy has brought us closer together. We are now going to focus on our sons, who are so hurt and so upset by this. I am praying for the strength and knowledge to figure out how to help them through it. I had a private talk with each of them today after coming home and there were a lot of tears, but we also thought of ways we can remember "BJ" as the boys have taken to calling him. We are going to plant a tree at a local park in his memory, and do a March of Dimes walk as well. We will make it through this...because we have to.
Christina
Mommy to Cris 11, Tony 9, Alex 5 and our Angel Benjamin