By Alla & John, The NetherlandsThough at this moment my wife is emotionally not yet able to calmly write her/our story, we both believe that it somehow is important to get it posted as fast as possible. Even though ours was not successful we somehow hope that it might help someone either in doing the right things or in moral support. I do try to describe everything (and it is a lot) as it was and would like to warn that this will probably not be helpful for everyone.
PROM at 15 weeks + 4 days. Delivery at 17 weeks + 4 days.
Story added: 2008-11-21
In June 2007 she was about around two and a half months pregnant and as accustomed in Holland we went for a nuclear translucency test and blood test to check for "chromosome problems". As then she was close to 40 years old and the fluid was clearly much too much behind the fetus neck, the gynecologist advised us to not wait for the blood results and do chorionic villus sampling (CVS) . He was right as our "boy" was diagnosed with Eduard syndrom (trisomy 18), which meant that in the best cases . . . well, survival changes or possibility some kind of quality of existence would be close to zero. After a considering our options we decided what seems the best to us and at 12 weeks she had curettage. Besides the emotional disaster of "sucking out of your body" something in which you invested so much hope, the physical pain was without borders. The medicine given two hours before the curettage caused that the actual fetus ( a boy which by lack of thinking about names yet ,we called Eduard) was lost before we could reach the hospital. I believe this to be not thoughtful of the doctors, who could also advise to be there two hours earlier. Eventually not everything came out and big blood clogs kept coming later. Altogether a very hard period.
In the next year we tried to get pregnant, but believe that some imbalance of bacteria was preventing a success. Though in Holland the doctors were convinced there was no problem, in Russia (she is Russian) she was eventually treated for streptococcus. Though I do not no if this has any relevance, it was amazing to see that Dutch doctors found this exaggerating while Russian once not. Anyhow, a exactly year went by until she became pregnant again in July 2008. Happiness was kind of very hard as the previous story was still so present in our minds. After some consultations with gynecologist we decided to go for a CVS immediately, which until the day of to day we regret. The ultrasounds taken before showed a healthy kicking fetus which was quite the contrary of the scan of Eduard we once took. On the initial planned date of the CVS a Candida infection made it impossible to do it through the vagina and she got some medicines and were asked to come back after a few days. Upon returning, close to the start of week 12, the gynecologist decided that it was (due to a myoma) anyhow better to do the CVS though the belly. After only a few minutes we left the hospital with the advice to watch for blood spots and to take it easy for a few days. Two weeks of impatience followed by the news that we would get a "genetically healthy" girl. Never seen and felt so much happiness.
10 Days later (week 15 plus 4 days) we were put down on earth again when in the evening during a phone conversation she coughed and though to loose some liquid. She went downstairs, thinking that is was jus urine, but after the toilet again some water followed. No blood, just water. Worried we went after midnight to the hospital where de midwife on duty checked her. She was asked to produce some water for investigation (which now, knowing all was lost already, seems still to me not a correct procedure for helping to conclude something), they took some vaginal material for infection check and listened to the heart beat with a Doppler. We left the hospital with the message that it was not amniotic fluid. We tried to get an appointment (ultrasound) anyhow for the next day, but the hospital refused, as it was not amniotic fluid. By luck we have good friend who is gynecologist, contacted him and drove to there. He did an ultrasound and could find no amniotic fluid anymore. After more gynecologists, ultrasounds etc they all expressed their bad prognosis and suspected some relation between the CVS and the rupture. We asked for all there is to do and told that she would even be willing to stand on her head for some months if this would increase the chances. All doctors told that bed rest would not do much at this stage and that we just had to wait and see. Layman as we are we turned to find all we could on the Internet, found your site and decided to do as much as we could. She stayed in the bed, drunk more (never could made the amounts as mentioned) and she eat healthy. A week later an extensive scan showed hardly any water but all organs etc in perfect order and size. We started to get a bit of hope that maybe we could make it to week 25-30 and still some chance was there!
Nevertheless in week 17 we found that a small part of the umbilical cord came out and went to the hospital. An ultrasound confirmed that our little girl had died. The labor was induced and after painful contractions, a lot of blood loss our Anna was born at four in the morning. The placenta was not following an around 10 in the morning a curettage was performed. This, for our feeling, was not correct (probably the doctor was not willing to do it during the night) and the late time caused my wife to loose much more blood than needed. A small perfect girl, with indeed already some characteristics from us, was born and a few days ago we cremated her.
And now, we are left with the scarves that will have to heal. Although I have no doubt that we will both get through this, still we struggle with the feeling of being so unlucky, our "mistake of doing the CVS", why us, how to do better for a hopeful next time etc. We are sure that our world will never be the same again, but hope to find out that it will only get better.