By Lara Sheppard, High Wycombe, Bucks UK
PROM at 21 weeks + 1 days. Delivery at 22 weeks + 4 days.
Story added: 2007-10-03

Hi. I'm Lara, and my story is like many of yours. I found out I was pregnant in April,and after trying for 15 months, we were ectstatic. It was our first. Things seemed to start going wrong almost straight away, and I started having stomach cramps. We were sent for a scan at 5 weeks, just incase it was eptopic or apendicitis. But I had neither. Another scan at 7 weeks checked the viability, and all seemed fine. The first bleed and first trip to emergency was at 10 weeks, so we had another scan. There was no reason found, so we were sent home. We had a nuchal scan at 12 weeks, and growth rates etc were all spot on, so sent home again. The bleeding started to get heavier, and included biscuit size clots, which was terrifying. We were in emergency so often, that we had our own room! In hindsight I knew I wasn't going to have my baby. We didn't ever get excited, or buy one item for him. Each time we bled, we went to emergency, but they couldn't see a reason, until placenta pravia, grade 3 was diagnosed at 17 weeks. I was told to take it easy, but not to worry. They would check again at my 20 week scan. Then one night, at around 3am, I felt more fluid, and immediately thought it was more bleeding. When I checked, I was devastated to see clear fluid. I went back to bed, hoping it was a dream. However, 1/2 hour later there was more, and I rang Labour Ward, and they told me to come straight down. I was terrified. They admitted me, and we were told we had a very poor prognosis, and to expect to deliver within the week. They offered us a termination 2 days later, but we refused, as we had to give him every chance. His heartbeat was consistant and strong, and we hoped he was a fighter. When a week passed, and he didn't come, we kept our fingers crossed and secretly thought that maybe it was going to be ok, but on the 10th day (August 15th), I had stomach cramps, starting at midnight. I thought I was constipated, and so did the midwives and my consultant. I was in agony all that day, and even had the 22 weeks scan at 3 pm, after having contractions for over 12 hours. The sonographer told us everything was ok. I just don't know how he missed it. I went to the loo at 9.50pm and had the urge to push, and out came a beautiful foot. I was hysterical, and pulled all the cords and pushed all the buttons near me. My wonderful midwife appeared and took control. My husband must have flown there, as the next thing I knew he was by my side. I gave birth to my beautiful and perfect baby boy at 10.30pm. He survived for 40 precious minutes. He weighed 1lb 9oz, but as we were before 24 weeks, there was nothing they would do to save him. He was just too little. All he knew in this world was our love and that he was safe. I was eventually taken down to theatre as my placenta was coming in bits. When I came round from anaethetic I told my husband his name is Tommy, and so we named him. It wasn't our chosen name. I think Tommy chose it for himself. The placenta was sent off, and came back that it was severely infected, which caused the waters to go. It just wouldn't have been able to sustain the growth of my boy any further. They can't tell me what caused the infection. Tommy, had he have gone full term would have been a big boy, and I miss him everyday. My husband says that if we had to lose a child, then better now than when they are 5 or 10 years old or older. At least all he knew was love, and no pain.
We have just been given the all clear to try again, and we want to fill this gap in our family. Tommy will always be loved and never forgotten. He will always be our first born, and our others will know they have an older brother looking down on them to keep them safe.
Love to everyone who feels the same.
Lara xxxxxxxxx