By Oleander, Portsmouth United Kingdom
PROM at 13 weeks + 1 days. Delivery at 17 weeks + 4 days.
Story added: 2007-05-27

Thinking about it now I realise that this pregnancy was different from the others..... I was always tired and I had some days I had really bad headaches and backache, spoke to my midwife she said the backache was probably due to it being my fourth pregnancy. But I was plodding along. On the 16/04/07 I had bad backache so I went to see my GP who did a urine dipstick and said I had a UTI.I had never had one in my life. She immediately started me on antibiotics. On the 19th I went and picked up my two older kids from school. When I got back I felt my pants were wet. I went to the loo and when I got up a gush of fluid came out. I knew something was wrong and it was not urine. Immediately contacted my GP and got an immediate appt. When I got there I had another gush of fluid when i saw the Dr She was very tactless. She said 'what could be the worst thing that could be happening? I remember answering 'I could be miscarrying' she said there was nothing she could do at that time of day for an emergency scan because the unit that could do it would be shut. I broke down. She left the room and I heard her talking to another Dr who told her she could book one for the following morning. She did that and then came back to the exam room to tell me. I came home not knowing better than I had a few hours earlier. DH was at work, I called him to tell him what had happened.
The next day we went for the scan and we were told that there was no fluid around baby. The specialist nurse we saw told us the odds for baby were not great and I was at risk of getting an infection. She told us that they would be recommending a termination. She said she needed to speak to the gyn/obs specialist registrar. I was shocked. She came back and said that I had to come back to see the consultant on the 23rd and see if fluid would have built up and discuss further care. This was the longest weekend of my life and that’s when I found this site. I decided to give my baby the best possible chance and I followed the guidelines set out on the site. They were the best advice I got throughout..... No one at the hospital had mentioned bedrest.... they pretty much expected me to miscarry.
I bought a fetal Doppler so I could hear my baby’s heartbeat. I used to listen to my baby it kept me going.
We went back on the 23rd and again there was no fluid around baby. Again he went over the risks and outcomes for baby. We were told if we carried baby until he was viable there was a possibility he could be born deformed or with severe disabilities. I knew I could not terminate this baby I wanted him so much but I struggled to figure out how we would cope with two other children and me being on bedrest. I have no family close by.
We decided we were going to do the best we could.
On the 30th I went back to the hospital with excruciating pain I thought I was in labour but all exams showed no signs of labour and the pain died down with no pain relief after an hour. I came back home the same night. A HVS done then showed I had thrush but no treatment was commenced. Two weeks later on the 14/05/07 I was back in hospital with heavy bleeding like a period. They could not figure out where the bleeding was coming from. I have a history of placenta previa with all my pregnancies. They said it was too early to be able to detect placenta previa But I knew this was too much blood. I spent the night in hospital. The bleeding slowed down and I went home the next afternoon. At 3am on Thursday I woke up to what felt like contractions but they died down. And I fell back asleep and went through the day. On Friday the 18th I woke up and went to the loo. I had a wee and I felt the baby coming out. I managed to catch him, umbilical cord still attached. He was still alive he was small but he was perfect. I called my husband he called the ambulance and they took me to hospital. I was unable to deliver the placenta and had to have an evacuation. I lost a lot of blood. I managed to hold my baby, I saw him he was real. We named him Robin Mudiwa (which means My Darling). He will always be in my heart. It hurts that he is not going to be with us but he will always be a part of us. I know I did my best…….. I hope someday it will feel that way and it won’t hurt so much.
The kids have had so many questions about the baby. That has been difficult.