By Jen, Sunderland England
PROM at 18 weeks + 5 days. Delivery at 29 weeks + 1 days.
Story added: 2005-03-13

Our pregnancy with Josh began with 2 large bleeds at 13 and 15 weeks. Following the bleeds we were amazed that our little fighter was still there. We thought that was the end of our troubles. Then at 18 weeks I woke up at 7am to find I was gushing a brown water, we couldnt believe it. My husband and I went straight to hospital, they kept me overnight and the ultrasound scan showed reduced fluid. The doctors sent me home, in England the protocol is to continue life as normal but attend a regular "high risk" clinic, they dont advise bedrest. However, I read so many stories on this website about people spending weeks in bedrest and having a positive outcome. So I decided to bedrest at home. My mum and mother-in law took weeks on and off for 11 weeks taking care of me and looking after things at home while I rested. Each week I had to go to the hospital twice once for blood tests and swabs and the other for a scan. Each week Josh was fine but with little or no fluid (normally about 1, but never more than 3cm fluid) but his heart beat was good and no infection. Each day I continued to lose fluid, it didnt seem to make a difference if I lay down or stood up but I felt that the fluid was around the baby a little longer if I lay down.

At 29 weeks I had a slight bleed so we went to the hospital, I was put on a heart monitor to monitor Josh's heart rate. It started ok but then rapidly decreased. Within 45 mins I had been rushed in for a C-section and Josh had arrived. He arrived with a very flat chest as his lungs were very under-developed and his limbs were quite squashed from not having much water while in the womb. After 20 mins of resuscitation work and lots of rescue breathing equipment to support him Josh was stable and taken to the neo-natal unit. The doctors and staff were outstanding, they explained every step of Josh's progress with us.

After a few days, we noticed that although Josh required less assistance with his breathing, he was still totally reliant on his ventilator and did not move. The consultant at first thought it may have been the effects of the drugs he had been given, but as he was weaned off them he still didnt move.

After about 10 days of ups and downs, brain scans and tests produced results that showed at some point Josh had suffered a massive lack of oxygen and bleed to the brain. He had little or no brain activity. He did not respond to any tests including eye reflex, gag reflex and did not attempt to breath on his own without the machine. This was a terrible blow to us. Fortunately for us the decission was not left to us. The doctors made the decision that Josh's care should be removed, which, though hard, we supported.

We do not know when the bleed to the brain happened although the consultants suggested it may have happened while he was in the womb (the umbilical cord can easily twist or get trapped when there is no fluid in the womb) or immediately after birth.

Despite this, we spent the best 2 weeks of our lives with our son Josh. We feel he is a very special spirit that has brought so much love to our family.

Twice during the pregnancy we were offered a termination. This was never an option for us. Like so many stories I have read, we felt Josh's life was not our decision and we left it to God to make that decision. The two weeks we had with him were incredible and we wouldnt swap them for the world. We miss our son so much but we have a belief that children that die are special and that we will be with him again after this life.

To all you parents experiencing PROM we wish you all the best with your pregnancy. We believe bedrest enabled us to have two fantastic weeks with our son, it was well worth the sacrifice. Our hearts go out to all who have to go through the pain of losing a child, stay strong, we believe we'll be with our children again. x