By Valerie, from Kansas USAToday is Jan. 3rd, 2005. I was due to deliver on Jan. 1st, 2005... but sadly things did not go that way. Jason and I would like to share our story of our angel daughter Devon Michelle.
PROM at 18 weeks + 5 days. Delivery at 22 weeks + 5 days.
Story added: 2005-01-03
It happened while I was at work on Wednesday August 4th. I was 18wks and 5 days pregnant. It was obvious to me what happened since I felt a pop and a gush. I drove straight to my OB's office and was wheeled over to the hospital where it was confirmed that my water had broken. I was sent home with antibiotics and an appointment with a specialist the next day. I was so shocked ... I couldn't believe I was being sent home. I thought I was going to be losing the baby that night if they didn't try to stop it.
The next day, we had an ultrasound and met with the specialist. He started explaining that I would probably go into labor very soon. If I didn't... I would most likely develop an infection that would mean we would have to induce to save my life. He said the best thing for my health would be to just induce now before I get an infection. He said that even if I could somehow carry this baby full term, the lungs would still not develop correctly because of the lack of fluid in there. He then gave me the only option I could live with at the time ... go home and wait for my labor to start naturally while considering termination.
I literally cried the entire 2-hour drive home. I spent that weekend grieving... I didn't realize there was even a remote possibility this baby would make it. Then the next week, I researched on the net and found that sometimes there is some hope. I read that 90% of the women who have this premature rupture of membranes go into labor within 2 weeks. But the ones who can hold on have some hope with the steroid shots they can give now to help develop the lungs if you can keep the baby in until 23 weeks (the point at which the baby is considered viable). I read that at that point, most drs will put the mother in the hospital and will do everything medically possible to save the baby. But those babies spend months in intensive care. I read that I had a 1% chance of having a healthy baby.
The 2 weeks came and went. We had this huge decision hanging over our heads. We knew that most people thought we should terminate for my health. We had been told that a uterine infection could put my life at risk. We also knew that we were risking having a very sick premature baby who would suffer greatly. We went back and forth and at one point even gave the dr the ok to start the process with the ethics committee to induce labor on a non-viable baby. But when it came down to it, I couldn't make the appointment to terminate. I had to try and save my baby. When I would see that little heart beating on ultrasound and then hear it on the Doppler... I felt like I was dying inside knowing that I was considering terminating. When my baby was fighting to live and the little heart kept beating, how could I give up?
By the 3rd week, we became really hopeful. The baby was still growing right on schedule. I hadn't felt much fluid leaking and we were getting so close to viability. We got real careful with my bed rest restriction as we got more hopeful. Jason was already doing all the household chores. I even cut back on my showers and just kept a jug of water near me so I wouldn't be getting up so much during the day when he was at work.
But... it was not meant to be. The morning of September 1st, we were 22wks and 5 days pregnant and it had been 4 wks since my water broke. I had been having some back pain and some pressure down low. But I thought the pressure was intestinal problems from not moving around and not eating as healthy since Jason had been doing all the cooking. I also thought the back pain was being caused by bed rest. Looking back, I guess I was in denial. I didn't want it to be labor pains. I wanted to keep my baby inside where she was still safe. I told Jason to go ahead and go to work and I would call if anything changed. She was born only 45 minutes after I finally admitted to myself that I was in labor.
They laid her in my arms and she was the softest, prettiest thing I have ever seen. At first, she was making breathing movements. Her little mouth would open and her chest would rise. I kept saying "She's trying to breathe, she's opening her mouth, she's trying to breathe." The nurses and dr just said "... yeah..." and kept working with my IV. She was just born too soon; there was nothing they could do to save her. I knew in my heart that she was not going to live, but seeing her trying to breathe, I was starting to panic wanting to help her. Then she stopped moving so much and I just calmed down and held her.
Jason was at work a half hour away with no ride to the hospital. He didn't make it in time for the birth since it all went so fast, but he was there in time to hold her before her little heart gave up. She held on for an hour and 10 mins. I know that is rare for a baby her age who is not on any life support (I've read that most only live about 15 minutes). I like to think she was waiting for Daddy to get there. She went peacefully in our arms.