By Tara, New York USAI have read so many stories of inspiration. I just wanted to share my not so inspirational story because I needed to hear a story like mine when I was resting with my complicated pregnancy. I hope that someone out there will read my story and know that they are not alone with the decision they need to make.
PROM at 16 weeksDelivery at 18 weeks.
Story added: 2004-02-13
I was 16 weeks pregnant and the doctors were telling us the chance of having a viable child was less than 5% and the periontologist told us less than 1%. We were gasping for hope.
On a regular night, it just happenend to be new years eve, I got up because my daughter (a perfectly healthy 2-year- old) was crying. On the way to the crib, I felt a gush of fluid down my leg. I picked my daughter up and put her in my bed and rushed to the bathroom. I had lost a lot of water, I thought, and yellow mucus. I went back to bed thinking everything was fine. I had never experienced anything like this with my previous pregnancy yet I assumed it was ok. My pregnancy so far had been a little strange because I was bleeding slightly, it was more mucus than blood so I didn't think it was a big deal. My ultrasounds had shown that I had a tear behind my placenta that was causing the bleeding but everything appeared to be fine. So I was relieved in fact that the fluid was not blood. I went to the doctor two days later and was ordered an emergency ultrasound because they thought it was amniotic fluid. It was and I had lost a lot. My fluid count was low.
A few days later, I went for another ultrasound. In the mean time I had lost another gush of fluid. The doctors said the fluid was dangerously low and I was referred to a periontologis or a specialist in pregnancy's. I saw two periontolgists from the same practice. One told me that the result was inevitable. The chance of viability was 1% and the biggest risk would be that the lungs would be unable to form and the baby would not survive out of the uterus. He told me to go about daily activities and hope that the hole is sealed. He told me bed rest would not make a difference. The other periontologist who is among the leading in the United States, told me to give it a week. Rest on my left side, drink plenty of water and hope for a miricle. He said that the aminotic fluid broke at such a vital time for the fetus. The lungs develop between 16-24 weeks and the lungs have not been able to begin to exercise themselves. But above all check my temperature every few hours. He was worried about infection that could be fatal to my fetus and especially to me.
I lost more fluid. It always happened in gushes. I cryied and cryied. I lost fluid about once every 24-48 hours. I changed from clear fluid to blood. I could not feel my baby although the ultrasound showed a heart beat. My child was unable to practice breathing unable to move. My heart broke for a child that I was carrying that did not have a chance outside my body. I felt as though he was suffering.
I lost one more gush of blood. My family was begging me to have the D and E. (A surgical operation that terminates the pregnancy) Yet, we continued to carry the baby. This was our child, yes, i was risking my health but it didn't matter. The heart beat was still there. Our last ultrasound showed 2 small pockets of fluid. One between the fetus's legs and one behind the head. 2. something centimeters. The fluid was not even by his mouth. We waited and I lost another gush of heavy blood. I decided to have the D and E. I was a horrible night. I was 18 weeks.
My husband and I went to the hospital. The doctor now told us that the chance of having a viable pregnancy was zero. We had done everything to save this baby. I had searched the internet for information, stayed on bedrest, drank plenty of fluids, and even though it was continually shattered hoped every day that this child could survive. I realized that that periontologist that had told us to rest was just believing in faith and hoping that a miricle would come to us.
After the operation, the doctor came in to tell me that I had developed an infection and that it was a good thing that we decided to come in at this time because within a few days the infection would have progressed and the fetus would have terminiated itself and I would have been very sick.
I still cry every night. I blame my self for the rupture and wonder what caused it. We have a girl and to know that we had a boy is unbearably painful. Time will never heal the pain. Everynight I try to invision what this boy would look like and hope, even thought I am not very religious, that our boy is with my grandparents and uncle in heaven. But I know, we made the right decision. If I was not told that I had developed and infection and the fetus would have terminiated itself, I wouldn't be so sure. My heart literally is reaching out of my soul for anyone that is induring this tremendously difficult and trying situation. I send you strength to overcome.