By Astrid, Johannesburg South Africa
PROM at 18 weeks + 1 days. Delivery at 19 weeks + 3 days.
Story added: 2003-10-14

I was 12 weeks pregnant when I had a cerclage inserted. My previous baby was delivered prematurely at 36 weeks after PROM, and during delivery my cervix was torn slightly. I believe, in retrospect, that the placement of the suture was unnecessary, and that this is what probably caused my premature contractions After being sent home on the same day of the cerclage, without being told to rest,I carried on with normal activities, although I did not do anything strenuous. The pain from the cerclage did not improve after a few days. I was uncomfortable, but I was told that removing the cerclage would result in a spontaneous abortion. I was taking Ipradol tablets to stop contractions, but only when they occurred. After ten days the pain improved. I started bleeding at 14 weeks. The baby was fine, and there was no obvious cause for concern. I rested as much as possible. My husband went away on business and I was booked into hospital for bedrest and observation. I continued bleeding sporadically, probably from the cervix. I still had contractions, which were at times quite severe and regular, only 5 minutes apart. They abated when I took Ipradol. I was sent home and a team of midwives came to see me at home every two to three days to check on my baby. I had another severe episode of bleeding,with contractions. I was now taking Ipradol more regularly, 3 to 5 times a day to prevent contractions.. There was no explanation for the bleeding, and I was told to rest, and hope the baby would make it to 28 weeks! He was absolutely fine, his heart rate was strong and steady. I was on strict bedrest at home, with continued bleeding. Eventiually I caught the flu and started coughing. I had more severe contractions and ruptured membranes. I suspected had ruptured membranes but I was afraid to see my gynecologist, hoping that the situation would resolve itself. The rupture of the membranes went undiagnosed for several days until more than a week later, when we went for the fetal development scan. I was told there was no more water around him, and that he had no chance of being healthy. I was told he would have hypoplastic lungs and die. I was told he would have deformed limbs due to being unable to move in the womb. I was told that if I did not terminate I would risk developing sepsis and thus I would not be able to keep my uterus, and so I was compromising further childbearing possibilities.I was told it was the right thing to do. My cerclage was removed without my consent during an examination. The scan showed his heart was beating, but there was no amniotic fluid around him. The gynecologist told me that I could go and "hunt for a gynecologist who would support me through this pregnancy", but she was unwilling to do so, as it was "unethical". She said it was her duty to ensure a good outcome for her patient, and that she did not agree with me "risking my life". My husband was then convinced,he did not want to loose me as well. and I felt sad but compelled to terminate. Throughout the day I felt it was wrong. I made arrangements with a funeral parlour, and arranged for my midwife to be present and manage my labour in hospital. That night I was induced and went through a natural labour with an epidural. I felt him kicking as the midwife inserted the tablets in my vagina. Rémy was stillborn. He died because of the pressure of the contractions on his umbilical cord, and the cord was also around his neck when he was born. I held him and loved him, missed him and was devastated. Each day that goes by I regret my decision and hope that some mothers will not relent under the pressure exercised by the medical profession. I believe one should trust one's intuition and let God do His work. I believe that Rémy never was given a chance. I believe that he may have died in utero, or he could possibly have lived. That was God's decision to make. My bloodtests reveiled that I had no infection and was not developing infection, as my white bloodcell count was lower than normal. If given the chance to make this decision again I would have managed this pregnancy conservatively, I would have asked for IV Ipradol to stop contractions, and IV antibiotics when required. I would have do anything to keep my baby and give him the best chances! I don't delude myself by thinking that he had an excellent chance, but he was not given a chance at all, and I have to live with the knowledge that I did not protect him well enough. I think that intuitively a mother knows what is best for her baby, and I think that one should make decisions in accordance with what feels right.