By Tali, Perth WA Australia
PROM at 18 weeks + 2 days. Delivery at 29 weeks + 4 days.
Story added: 2003-08-01

The beginning of my pregnancy was wonderful, I didn't have any morning sickness and I felt great. I did yoga, aqua aerobics and dancing and I filled the fridge with fruit and vegies. I became a mum as soon as I found out I was pregnant and knew my role as a mum was most important during the next 7-8 months. I was very excited about the baby and had lots of dreams of a happy future. My dreams were shattered at 18+2 weeks (27.4.03). I woke up at 5.30 and felt what I thought was a wee coming out and I couldn’t stop it. I stood up and more came out. I went to the toilet and thought 'great, now I can't control my bladder'. I went back to bed, woke up several hours later to the same thing. Ben eventually drove me to the hospital, and on the way we weren’t too worried. I thought worst case I’d have to wear those nappies designed for old ladies. I didn’t know my whole world was about to collapse.

In the emergency room they told me it was amniotic fluid and I was probably going to lose the baby in the next couple of days. I asked the doctor to tell Ben because I couldn't. He came in and I could see his heart broke when she finally told him. The next 2 days were a nightmare, I kept feeling the fluid come out, and I cried because with every little bit of fluid, I lost a little bit of hope. I cried for the baby. I felt guilty. I drowned in self pity. I was put on ward 5 which was gynaecology & miscarriages. An ultrasound showed I had 50% fluid the next day. The doctor said 85% chance I'll have the baby within 10 to 14 days, in which case there’s no chance the baby will survive, and less than 5% chance I’ll go home with the baby. I was determined to do everything I could for this baby. They offered me a termination and I said 'no way'. They said that most women go home, and I said 'well I’m staying here'. The hospital was much cleaner and I was monitored every 4 hours.

I was given antibiotics to clear up a strep-B infection which they said was normal for women to have and was only dangerous in pregnancy. I stayed in bed as much as I could, did cross words, cross stich, watch TV and slept as much as I could. At night I cried and cried I was so scared. My little boy was alive and kicking, but I was told when he is born he just wont be able to take a breath. I had 15 ultrasounds while in hospital and they all showed no water or 1.55 cm at most. They also said the baby was very small (2 - 3 weeks behind), his heart was too big, and his ribs and feet were misshapen. Time went by and I started gaining hope but at 23 weeks, when I thought my baby had a chance, the doctor said 'no, even if you have him at 40 weeks, he still only has less than 5% chance as his lungs have stopped developing at 18 weeks'. The situation seemed hopeless. I was given steroid shots at 24 weeks and then iron and calcium tablets, but really there was nothing they could do but wait until I got an infection which was inevitable and I’d have to give birth immediately.

Lucky for me I had lots of support from my family who visited every day during the 12 weeks, and Ben who was by my side, sometimes he was strong and let me cry on his shoulder, and sometimes we cried together, it was just as hard for him. I made friends with all the midwifes and several other patients and we supported each other at difficult time. Our babies died while I was there, and I grieved with the mums and felt their pain. At 29 + 4 weeks I went into labour, the doctor said I could have a caesarean section and it would be the old fashioned vertical cut, and this would mean a scar on my uterus. I would never be able to carry a baby to full term, I would have to have c-section for future births, and I could only have 2 more babies.. Or I could opt for a vaginal delivery in which they would turn off all the monitors and I'm on my own. The doctor said 'we'll treat it as a miscarriage'. This was a really touch decision. I was in so much pain and delirious from the morphine. I didn’t know what to do.

Bailey was born vaginally, he came out clean and breech, and didn’t cry. He was resuscitated and put on high frequency ventilator with 100% oxygen. He was 1.3 kg. His heart was the right size and his ribs and feet were perfect. On day 6 he started breathing on his own. He is now 17 days old and was given a greater than 90% chance of survival. He looks just like his daddy. We can’t wait to cuddle him and kiss him, and he will be getting lots of that when he will come home in September 2003. If anyone has any questions or comments or would like some advice, I’d be delighted to respond. My email address is studiobeat@hotmail.com. Please visit Bailey's website http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/ba ileyethan/