By Sue Shannon, Great Barrington, Ma USA
PROM at 22 weeks + 5 days. Delivery at 32 weeks + 4 days.
Story added: 2002-04-10

I was very excited about this pregnancy, i had found out on Dec. 10 that this would be a little girl, my four year old daughter would have a sister. How wonderful I thought. Like my first pregnancy this one was fabulous, no sickness or anything like that. I was 22.5 days pregnant and shopping for christmas gifts when i felt a sudden gush down below. I honestly thought i wet myself. As i walked to the ladies room it continued to flow,I got a little more concerned about what was happening. I got home and told my mom and husband what was happening and they both thought i should call my OB. So on Dec 16 at 10 pm i called my OB to let him know that I thought i had broken my water, and he assured i was fine and that it was probably just urine. So I continued to work leaking all the time. The day after Christmas i saw the OB for my regular check up. I informed him that I was still leaking and the nurse told me I had lost 7 pounds, My doctor did not examine me below the waist. I expressed a lot of concern and he told me to make me rest easier he would schedule an ultrasound. I got home and there was a message that the ultra sound would be the following friday ( january 4 th). I thought this was normal,noone else was concerned so why should I be. I went to the ultrasound and was told that my fluid level was a 4, At my last ultrasound it was 14. They informed me that I would be going directly to the hospital. I was worried about my four year old and also i thought that i would be delivering soon, I didnt know how long you could stay pregnant with no fluid. I was rushed to a hospital an hour away from my home. I cried the whol way i had never spent the night away from my daughter . There i was monitored and finally tested for ammniotic fluid. I saw Neonatologists and they informed me of the things that could happen if my little girl were born at 25 weeks. They told me how important it was to stay pregnant as long as i could. They also told me that i would be staying at the hospital until delivery. I started with daily NST strips, IV antibiotics,Temps, BPP ultrasounds every other day and so on. The baby looked wonderful her heart rate was reactive and her growth was super. I stayed put in misery for 7 weeks at this hospital so far from home. . I missed my daughter, my husband and my life so much. But i knew how important this was for Rebecca.I took up cross stitch to kill the time, I met every doctor, nurse and hospital worker. I went into labor on February 24 and the turb. shots didnt help.I was contracting every minute& I started to get a fever, so the doctors thought maybe i was getting infected, so they set up for a c section. At 2:53 am Rebecca was born weighing 4 pounds, at 32.4 weeks. She cried at birth and was shown to me immediatley, she was perfect, They took her to NICU for observation. An hour later we called so my husband could see her. He and my mom went to NICU while i was still recovering. They came back 10 minutes later and they looked like they were sick, They informed me that Rebecca was dying and that I needed to be with her, I was in shock, and then the phone in recovery rang to ask if we wanted her baptised before she died. It finally hit me that, although i felt so heroic for what I did for her she wouldnt be going home with me. I was wheeled up to be with her and i was told she was suffereing from Pulmonary Hypoplasia, under developed lungs. I took her off all of the machines and held her once before she died after only four hours of life. She was beautiful and I had to sit in my hospital bed feeling sorry for my self and i hurt so bad. I had to explain this to my 4 year old daughter, who understood my grief all to well. I have since been informed of the options that shouldve been offered to me at 22 weeks,( termination) My doctors neglect put me through the hell i am now living in. The doctors briefly mentioned hypoplasia and i wasnt even worried about it. How could this happen to me? I lived for this baby, I did all I could do for her and i came home empty handed and all I can ask Is WHY? Why me? Why Us?