By Stephanie Alexander, IJsselstein, Utrecht The Netherlands
PROM at 21 weeks + 5 days. Delivery at 23 weeks + 5 days.
Story added: 2001-06-15

When I was 18+1 weeks pregnant the blood loss started. Of course I was very shocked, but the doctors told me a placenta praevia was the cause. Probably in time the placenta would move more upward and the bleeding might stop. However, the bleeding became worse and at some point (20+3 weeks) I lost an off-white colored 'ball' (looked a bit like chewing gum!) and I called the doctor. He told me he didn't know what it could have been, but I should not be worried... (after the delivery of my beautiful son Quint the doctors showed me the placenta with the membranes: I know for sure I lost a piece of the membranes that particular day!). When I was 21+5 weeks I lost pink fluid that came out like water. I also felt 'empty' and the baby was not moving. I called the hospital and explained what happened. The assistent- to-the-doctor told me I shouldn't worry and I didn't need to come over. I told her I did not accept that reply. After some arguing I told her to put me through with the doctor. Again I told the same story and again the same reply. After some pushing he agreed to see me, adding that probably nothing was wrong... I went to the hospital and the us showed no fluid around the baby! The doctor checked with a microscope, but since I also lost lots of blood, it came out negative... Later that day I started to bleed like I had never done before. It just came pouring out! The next day I called again and was allowed to come in directly. This time I got a level 2 us and this time there was no escape possible: no fluid around the baby. They checked if the baby was healthy (kidneys) and he was all fine. So they sent my home giving me 50% chance to get to 26 weeks and a 50% chance of undeveloped lungs.

Of course I was very, very sad. Fortunately my husband, who is an airline pilot, came home that day and went straight to my parent's place where I was staying at that time. I really thought I would go into labor that same night, so we hold each other really tight and prayed everything would work out fine.

A couple of days later (no labor yet!) I decided to transfer to another hospital (I wasn't too happy with the service...) with a good reputation and a great NICU. While meeting my new doctor, we discussed the chances for this baby. The doc told me we had about 10% chance of a healthy baby. We discussed the fact whether it was fair to the child to continue this pregnancy. My dh and I very soon decided we should not make a choice. God would not allow it! There was still a live, healthy baby inside of me, and as long as he was willing to fight, we should too!!! We made plans for the coming week, but 2 days later I went into labor after a massive blood loss. I was admitted to the hospital and we were given a private room. My dh stayed with me all the time. During the night, the pain got so bad, they gave me some painkiller and in the end I went to sleep (while I was still having contractions!). The next morning the contractions were gone and I was still very high because of the painkiller. I was very week (I lost blood continously) and couldn't even go to the bathroom by myself. My parents came to visit and they seriously thought I was going to die. I slept mostly that day and the next morning I told my dh I couldn't go on like this. I was very, very weak and tired and I wouldn't mind if the baby would have gone to sleep inside of me... I needed to go to the bathroom, but was scared to go with just the help of my husband. So we called a nurse and she helped me. I wanted to wash myself a bit, but when I looked between my legs, my son's hand already came out!

It was very, very scary at that time. Now it is not scary anymore, because it was my beautiful son Quint! But at the time, maybe you can imagine, it was horror! I really wanted the doctors to get him out of me. I wasn't having any contractions and I had to push- out of nowhere! That didn't work. The doctors really wanted me to do it myself (and looking back- I am so very grateful I did do it myself; I had a real delivery of a live son!!!) and give me some medication through my IV that would make me have some sort of contractions. After an hour it began to work and after a while our son was born!

IT WAS AMAZING!!! He was so beautiful, so perfect in every way. He had little nails and even the tiniest eyelashes. He really looked a lot like my husbans! We both instantly loved him and wanted to hold him, and hug him and just be there for him.

The doctors had already prepared us that he would not live long. He just wasn't able to breathe and keep himself warm and digest food. He was just too little! So we enjoyed him for an hour and a half and he went to sleep peacefully in our arms.

Of course we are very, very sad things had to work out like this for our Quint. But then we have also found peace. We know his chances were just too slim (especially considering I probably PROMed earlier than 21+5 weeks since I had already lost a piece of the membranes!). He really proved himself a fighter and we are very proud of him. We feel privileged we have gotten to know him. We are grateful he was with us for an hour and a half. I would like to end my story with the words I put on the card we sent out to people:

Dearest son,
Because of a twist of nature,
You were born too early
And was too small to survive
You were allowed to go straight to heaven

Dear Quint, go in peace
Go with God

You will always be our first little child!