By Barb Witbeck, Tryon, NC USA(PROM at 16-19 weeks)
PROM at 16 weeksDelivery at 32 weeks.
Story added: 2000-04-23
Well, I'm going to see if I can recall it all...
We weren't trying to conceive but when we found out I was pg. we were overjoyed! At the time my DH and I were in missions over in Africa. We lived aboard a ship that traveled the coast. At aprx. 12 wks. I bagan to bleed. I went for an U/S and the Dr. couldn't find anything wrong. The baby looked good. He did see a small amount of blood at the lower end of my uterus but said that it would drain out and then be done with. It did stop in a wk. or so.
Then at 15 wks. I again had bleeding, this time it was a lot and bright red. Another U/S...Doc. could find no reason for bleeding. He assured me that some women just bleed during pg. and for no reason. I did however take it very easy for several wks. The ship that we were on had tons of stairs and so my Dr. advice me not to use the stairs for a while. Because the ship was so old there were no elevators... so I lay in bed a lot. There were times when I suddenly feel a trickle and would run to the bathroom terrified that I was bleeding again. But it was always just a watery discharge. I had been reading pg. books that said that some women leak urine but you should check it out cause it could be fluid. I went to the ship nurse and she said "does it smell like urine?" I smelled it and thought
- "I don't know, I guess".
Also I started to feel a pressure in my vagina. Like if I was sitting or laying down for a while then got up, the blood would just rush down and kinda pump for a while. I also mention this to the ship Dr. and she said that it was just the weight from the growing baby. (Now I believe that even then I was completely out of fluid and the baby was just sitting on the bottom of the sack...) But this was my first pg. and so I had no clue which things were normal and which things weren't.
I just KNEW something was wrong though because my stomach looked kinda funny, like not very round...and it wasn't growing too much. Also I only felt tiny movements from the baby. I then went for another U/S to be sure everything was OK. This was at wk. 23. The Dr. was concerned because I showed virtually no fluid. He sent me to a specialist. They took U/S of my cervix and didn't think it was IC. After confirming that there was barely any fluid I was advised to rush home to America. It's weird cause my entire pg. I just KNEW something was wrong and never once did I buy any baby clothes...I just couldn't get myself to do it.
My DH tried to be positive and encourage me. Once back in the USA I went to yet another specialist. She was wonderful... she did some tests and ferning was discovered. Yes, I definitely had PROM. But there were so many unanswered questions... like when did I rupture, why did I rupture, ect. Because I was traveling around I didn't have one main OB. The ship I was on did have a Family DR. who could hear the heart beat, do urine tests, ect. I then tried to think back when the rupture may have happened. And I do remember one nite (I think in Nov. - which would have been aprx. wk. 16-19) when I woke up and the bed under me was all wet. I thought, "man, what am I doing wetting the bed?" I was a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing but for some reason brushed it of. (DUH!)
Well, my Peri then sent me straight to the hosp. (at 26 wks.) I was put on bedrest with bathroom and shower priveledges only. My DH moved in with me!! (I couldn't have made it without him) Upon admission I had fluid level 2! (under 5 = critical, over 10 = normal) Every 4 hours the nurses checked me for infection. And every morning I was put on the NS monitor. Brianna always gave good strips. She became very active. Dave would play guitar to her and read the bible to her often. I was drinking about 1 gallon of water @ day. And wearing a path to the bathroom!! At 28 wk. my fluid level rose to 12!!! We were so happy. Everyone we knew was praying that God would save our baby.
Then my fluid dropped to 5...but still Brianna continued to put out a healthy monitor strip. We became so attached to her during those 6 weeks in the hosp. Dave would talk to her while she was on the NS monitor and her heart rate would jumped. He was a proud father! I went up to wk. 30 without any contractions. Then around wk. 31 I had small contractions and 2x taken over to L&D for monitoring. But with IV fluids the contractions stopped. I tried not to worry about my baby.
The dr. were giving us a bad prognosis for her survival... because we had no clue how long she was without fluid. I knew that Brianna belonged to Jesus and He could do what He wanted with her. We begged for her to be ok. Then on March 2, 2000 @ about 9:30 I began to bleed. I went to the bathroom and the blood was just running out...like not stopping! We called nurse and she came in. I was put on the monitor and I wasn't really having any contractions but the babies' heart rate was raging from 190-200+!! I was rushed to L&D for more monitoring. The heart rate went up to 210! Abviously she was stressed so they prepped me for an imergency C- section. My DH was beside himself with excitement. (We were certain that Brianna was going to be fine.) He could hardly wait to hold our little baby.
I was a basket case... I was so nervous that I was shaking uncontrollably. They didn't put me completely under (thank God) just numbed from the waist down. Before I even knew what was happening Dave was yelling, "what the heck is it? "! (we didn't know the sex before) I heard "a girl" and i couldn't believe it. I was so much in a daze. The medication and spinal block really had me in a dopped feeling.
They rushed her to the table and had to resesitate her... I was craning to see her... I couldn't believe that the little person on the table was a part of our creation! They finally brought her to me to see but it was so frustrating because of all the tubes around her face made it hard to see her. Dave was all smiles!! Well, this next part is pretty much of a blur cause I was floating, floating.... from the medication. I was taken over to recovery and my DH stayed with me. He wanted to wait and go see Brianna with me. At this time we had no idea that she wasn't doing well.
About 20 minutes later a nurse came rushing into the room and grabbed Dave... I was going crazy cause I knew something was wrong. Then 15 minutes later a nurse came in and they wheeled me over to the NICU. I was in such a daze that I didn't know what to do. I knew that I should be crying. My baby was dying... Looking back it is hard for me...cause I was so drugged up. They pushed my bed right up to hers. Dave was there talking to her and touching her. She was hooked up to the respirator. Her heart rate was at 30 and when we would talk to her it would go up to 130! Also we would say to her "breathe Brianna, breathe." And she would use all of her strength to breathe on her own. Incredible, these are the memories we will cherish for ever. She knew who her parents were! They had to do cpr 5 times. They put her over into my arms...she was so tiny. She weighed 3 1/2 lbs. I just held her and stared at her.
Her hair was thick and curly, like her dad's. Her chin had a dimple, also her dad's. She felt so fragile. Then Dave held her. As he was holding her the Dr. said, "you know she is dying..."
I will never forget the cry of my husband. Even now I get choked up. He just wrapped his arms around his little girl and wept and sobbed loudly. All the nurses and Dr. were cying... I was cying too but was still in such a trance. Then Dave baptized her and gave her to Jesus as she slipt from us. As all of you know who have lost a baby, our entire world came crashing down in one nite. All our hopes and dreams that we had for Brianna were shattered. Never would I hang pictures she colored on the fridge....never would I hear her first word.
The nurses in the NICU were snapping picture or we would have none. At a time like this you don't think about taking pictures, but Praise God for them. Dave helped to bathe Brianna and dress her in an outfit that I had smocked for her. We held her for a while. Just admiring her and tying to squeeze as much time into the moment. The nurses were awesome and said we could be with her as long as we needed. Looking back I wish I would have held her even longer, and just examined every feature. But my medication was making me so foggy and I have such a hard time recalling the moment like I want to.
I stuggled for quite a while with this, but Dave says Brianna wouldn't want me to feel this way. We had a service in celebration of her and in worship to God for doing what He knew was best. We had a table there with a lrg. picture of Brianna and some of her things. We really do miss her and our arms are aching. To experience love for your child is like nothing else. We have peace with her death and know that God's perfect will was done. Although her life was short she touched so many lives. Hundreds of people came together to pray for her, even people who nevered prayed. She was a precious creation and will be in our hearts forever.
I like to think of what she is doing in heaven. Sometimes I have God tell her things for me or just give her a hug from here mommy. God is sovereign and He has carried our pain for us. His peace is perfect. Thank you for reading my story and sharing in this special time.