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I lost our son on the 17th of April
2010, i woke up about 4am on the
saturday morning feeling a really
strange sensation in my abdomen , so i
went down to the toilet thinking my
bladder must be really full, i then
went back up to bed to toss and turn
trying to get comfortable for ten
minutes before waking my partner up
and making our way back downstairs to
the toilet as i got to the bottom of
the stairs i felt a massive gush of
water, at the time i did not realise
it was my waters it was my first
pregnancy and the amniotic fluid was
blood colured, i then immediatly
started bleeding quite heavily, so i
rushed to the hospital and was seen
straight away, when the student nurse
went to get another nurse i suddenly
started hemorrhaging in the room, what
happened next is a bit of a blur as it
happened so fast, i was immediatly put
on the bed changed hooked up to a
water drip and made nil by mouth,
amongst a nurse getting a cannula
stuck half in my arm deciding to take
blood out of it anyway and then
removing it( i was VERY scared of
needles up until this hospital stay)i
was then moved up to the gynecology
ward where we heard our sons heartbeat
very strongly, so the consultant
decided we DID NOT need a ultrasound,
not once was i told my waters had
broken or even a possibility of it
suggested, anyway i was then put on
bedrest in a room of my own monitored
every half hour, about 1.30pm i began
hemorrhaging again and suddenly felt a
constant pain in my abdomen, the
nurses all rushed in at this point,
once again i heard my sons heartbeat
but this time it was slow, not the
strong heartbeat, we had heard at
every other time, then the doctor came
in and said the words the broke my
heart forever, i'm sorry your baby is
coming and there is nothing we can do,
i was given pethadine to help with the
pain and delivered our son, Robert
Jack Brewins into the world at 14.10pm
that afternoon, i wish i could say
everything went smootlhy from there
but it didnt, after several attempts
at trying to get my blood the doctors
had to give up for the day as my veins
had pretty much collapsed, the next
hours were a blur, i was so numb i
could not take anything in until we
saw our son in the evening, he looked
so perfect just like his dad, he
looked like he was just sleeping
though, the next day my blood results
came back and i was told i had to have
2 transfusions as i had lost dangerous
amount of blood and was severly
anaemic, 11pm on the sunday night i
was discharged 2 and a half weeks
later we had our angel cremated,
exactly a month after his birth on the
17th of May we laid him to rest in his
own special plot at the nearby
cemetry, we visit our angel often, we
miss him so much, nearly 3 months down
the line i still have not got my
limited postmortem results or even
began any of the tests they want to
do, sorry for such a long story, but i
just wanted to tell it how it was xxx
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