After losing my first child, I vowed
to come back to this site if I ever
had a full term pregnancy to inspire
all woman who have suffered the loss
of their child due to pprom and to
give them hope to try again.
On June 30th 2009, at 22 weeks and
1 day pregnant, my water broke. The
next day they told me my fluid was low
and it would be better to deliver the
baby incase of an infection and the
likely hood the baby wouldn't
survive. They induced me and my son
was born that night. He lived for an
hour and half. I didn't have the
strength to see, hold, or acknowledge
him that day. Giving birth to a baby
that you know won't make it, was the
hardest thing i ever had to do.
I was so so depressed. I couldn't
look at babies, see pregnant woman,
talk about children etc.... I had to
censor my television and people I cold
be around. I had one thought: the
only way i could be happy again was to
have another baby. I went to a few
specialists until i found a top rated
specialist that took my insurance.
They all couldn't tell me the exact
reason why it happened: fluke,
infection... They all told me that the
odds of this happening again was
small. I should note that my doctor
found one copy of a blood clotting
gene (i asked to be tested b/c there
was one blood clot on my placenta), so
i decided to go on a blood thinner,
but most doctors say that probably
wasn't the cause. My doctor told me
that it was ok to try again after one
full period. Some doctors say wait six
months, but my doctor told me there
was no need to wait, and personally i
couldn't. I was too depressed. So
after i got tested for everything i
could possibly think of, we tried
again.
So god blessed us and i got
pregnant right away. Now my
depression turned into anxiety. Every
single day for 9 months straight, I
thought my water would break. I was
afraid ever single second. Every time
i went to the bathroom my heart would
stop. Every day I had a new obsession
about what could have caused my last
pprom. I went into labor at 37 weeks
to the day and delivered a healthy
baby girl. I prayed everyday and i am
so happy now. I never, ever thought i
would make it, but i did and i pray
you do too.
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