I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who
was born at 37 weeks. It was a
wonderful pregnancy and we conceived
her within the first month of trying.
When she was a year old we decided to
try for a second child. It took us
over a year to conceive and was done
with the help of Clomid, IUI and
acupuncture. This pregnancy also
started off great and I was able to
continue to be active and run around
after my daughter. When I was 15
weeks I had very heavy bleeding one
night that freaked me out. My doctor
assured me that since it was thin red
blood and I had no cramping to just
rest and see him in the morning. The
ultrasound that morning revealed a
healthy, active boy. The red blood
stopped and I was left with brown
spotting for the next week or so. At
17w6d I was working from home and felt
a gush of water. I stood up to see a
pool of water in my chair. My initial
thought was I wet myself, but when I
looked at my skirt in the mirror, I
knew immediately that my water broke
(my water broke with my daughter at 37
weeks so I knew exactly what it felt
like). I called my doctor's office
and they had me come in immediately.
The exam confirmed it was amniotic
fluid and the ultrasound showed my
little boy still floating around with
a healthy heartbeat. My doctor, who
was out of the office that day, was
notified and told us to wait as he'd
be right in. His first words to us
were, "This pregnancy is not over."
It was comforting to hear since I was
expecting to go into labor any minute.
I don't think we could have made it
through all this without him. We were
informed of multiple options available
including the amniopatch. He wanted
us to wait a week to confirm the
pregnancy would continue before
exploring any of these options. I was
advised to go home, rest and drink
lots of fluids and was prescribed
antibiotics to combat any potential
infection. Our doctor saw us everyday
over the next 4 days. Each ultrasound
showed a little more fluid (I never
got below an AFI of 5) and a healthy
heartbeat. Our last ultrasound on
12/6/09 revealed yet more fluid, but
no heartbeat was found. Our doctor
estimates that he died earlier in the
day.
I elected to be induced and give my
baby the birth I thought he deserved.
It took 28 hours for the induction to
work. In my vision of how all this
would unfold, the idea of seeing my
dead baby always made me think that
was when I would lose it. Strangely,
once he was born and I got to see him
wrapped up in a blanket, I felt only
peace. I did not have any regrets. I
gave this baby all I had and
unfortunately, nature had other
plans.
4 weeks after his birth, all my
results came back normal. There was
no infection, no chromosomal
abnormalities, no growth
issues...nothing. It was tough to
hear as I really wanted to know what I
was up against if I am able to have
another child.
I am trying to be as strong as I can
for my daughter and my husband, but I
just take one day at a time. Some days
are better than others. I don't cry
anymore, but I just feel sad for what
could have been.
I am thankful for this website and the
other courageous women who share their
stories of hope and loss. I hope this
is the last PROM story I have to write.
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