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I came on this website when i pprom'd,
i was realy hoping my story would be
marked in green and even with the odds
against it, i realy thought that
everything would be ok. i was carrying
twins and was the happiest ive ever
been. we was finally doing well
financially, we had a gorgeous boy who
was nearly 3, everything was perfect.
then in 1 night my life changed n
turned into a nightmare!! i woke up
with the feeling of something leaking
from me. i went to the toilet and my
pajama bottoms were soaked, i shouted
my partner and he said 'dont be silly
it cant be your waters' i went hosp n
they did an internal n said it didnt
look like my waters had gone n let me
go home the next morning. that night
it happened again! i went bk 2 hosp n
they kept me in n gave me a scan the
following day. it showed that twin A
had lost quite alot of fluid. twin B
was fine as they shared different
sacks. twin B was a boy n they said
that they wernt sure but thought twin
A was also a boy. then i was told by a
dr that there was absolutley no chance
that twin A would survive n that by
time i go for my 20week scan he'd have
died n that it would shrivell up
inside me n should stay there until i
delivered my other baby. that is not
something u want to hear happen to
your baby. the next few weeks were
dreadfull, just waiting for my scan. i
continued leaking everynight. on the
day of my scan i was sick n said
goodbye to my baby, knowing that by
the end of the day id only have 1 baby
living inside me. when i got on the
bed the sonographer was doing my scan
as me n my partner held hands with
tears in our eyes, then she
said 'theres 2 lovely heartbeats' i
cried because i was so happy. the
fluid levels were still realy low but
he was growing well. after that i was
constantly in and out of hosp for
scans and blood tests and false
alarms. every scan was nerve wrecking
thinking will my baby still be alive.
i was told he only had 5% chance of
surviing, even if he was born at
34wks. i never gave up hope tho, he
beat the odds to get as far as he did.
my last scan i had was great. both
babies were growing bigger than
average twins, his fluid levels had
risen and wernt much lower than they
should be, i saw my consultant a few
days later n she even agreed that
everything was going brilliant n that
he could be a miracle. as i was
leaving the hosp i got my 1st
contraction (although i didnt know it
was 1) later that afternoon i went
back into hosp were i was told i was
in labour and i was transferred to a
bigger hosp 94miles away. Early hours
the following morning, 16th June 09,
Twin A, Jayden was born weighing 1lb
15oz. Twin B, Alfie followed 10 mmins
later weighing 2lb 5oz. We knew as
soon as he was born that it wasnt
going to be good! When Jayden was 3hrs
old we let them take his vent out and
he passed away in my arms. The
machines was not helping him and he
was getting worse. it was the hardest
thing i have had to do in my life. He
was PERFECT other than his lungs would
not open. the next few days were a
total blur. the only thing getting me
through it was my precious little boy
Alfie and my other boy Arley. i am
glad that i never gave up hope on
Jayden cuz even though he didnt make
it, he never gave up. he carried on so
he could meet his mummy n daddy and
also to give his twin brother a good
chance. even though this has been the
hardest thing i have been through and
my heart is broken, im glad i got 2
meet him, name him, have photos and a
memory box. if he had of passed away
b4 20wks we would never have seen him
or named im. we wouldnt of even been
sure what sex he was. this way he got
a funeral and a memorial and ppl will
remember him. Alfies middle name is
Jayden, after his strong, brave
brother. Alfie is now home after
spending 16 weeks in hosp. he looks so
much like Jayden n everytime i look at
him i think of his brother and i know
it sounds silly but i know he is in
heaven and looking down at us n
thinking of us. If u reading this and
r preg and prom'd, i am sorry that u r
going thru this and reading this is
going to worry u. pls do not give up
hope on your baby!! every case is
different, i went through this journey
talking to 3 other mum 2 b's.... all
their babies survived!! if the drs try
to encourage u to terminate, pls dont.
they do not know for sure what
willhappen to your baby. they
constantly tried to get me to give up
on Jayden, even in labour they said if
his heart beat drops its best to carry
on n he willprob die b4 being born
rather than have a c-section n save
him cuz he prob wont make it anyway n
then u will be left with a scar!!!
take on board what they r saying but
remember that they do not know what
the outcome will be. i realy hope that
whoever reads this will be having
there story marked in green! this week
is Baby Loss Awareness Week, i
remember my little angel every single
day http://jayden-
swift.gonetoosoon.org/
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