I found out I was pregnant on March 14,
2008. I was ecstatic. My husband was
deployed to Iraq in August of 07 and had
come home on his mid tour leave in Feb
08. We were trying for a baby, but
thought our chances were small
(considering we only had 18 days). But
by some miracle it happened.
At 6 weeks, I began to bleed heavily. I
was passing huge clots and was SURE I
was miscarrying. I went to the ER where
an u/s was done...I saw on the machine a
beautifully beating heart. I was in
shock, but so incredibly thankful. It
was later determined that I most likely
lost a twin. I continued to bleed for 3
weeks off an on. By week 10, I was doing
pretty good. At week 13, I bled again
for another few days. By week 16, things
were great. I felt so good and just
started feeling movements.
Then...my world came crashing down on
July 5th...I stood up out of bed and had
a huge gush of fluid. I ran to the
bathroom where I continued to gush. I
couldn't believe this was happening but
I knew it must have been my fluid. I
went straight to the ER where they
tested the it and sure enough, it was
amniotic fluid. I asked if there was any
chance for my baby, the doctor simply
told me no. The baby is non viable and
you will either go into labor or get an
infection. I stayed overnight...but did
not go into labor. An ultrasound showed
no fluid. But my baby kept kicking and
moving. They brought me informational
packets on stillbirth and asked me what
I wanted to do when the baby was born.
They told me they would take footprints
and a lock of hair if there was any. I
was crushed, to say the least. I felt
like there was no reason to live. I felt
devastated. After I did not go into
labor, one of the OB's told me that he
could send me to another hospital to
terminate (They could not do it there
because it was a catholic hospital). I
refused. I went home on antibiotics and
bed rest and was told to wait.
I waited...and waited...and waited. I
didn't know if I was waiting for my baby
to pass, or if I was waiting for my baby
to get strong enough to survive. I just
waited. I hardly moved, only to go to
the bathroom. During this time, I met
with a Neonatologist who explained all
of the challenges my baby would face if
he made it to 24 weeks, a "viable"
state. Before that, they would not
intervene or try to save the baby. I was
going to be admitted at 24 weeks. I had
multiple ultrasounds, all of which
indicated no fluid had re accumulated.
I made it 24 days on bed rest...I was 23
weeks 2 days when the real contractions
started. I was devastated. 5 days away
from being at the point of intervention.
I went to Labor and Delivery. I lied
about how far I was...they discovered
that I was lying and told me that I was
not 24 weeks. They tried to stop the
labor but were unsuccessful. I was given
one steriod shot but it didnt have
enough time to be any good. My labor
progressed quickly. I was 4cm when they
decided to prep me for an emergency
c-section. I was terrified. "My baby
cannot come yet!" was all I could say.
Within minutes I was 10cm dialated and
before they could wisk me off to the OR,
my baby was coming. He was frank breach.
I delivered him vaginally. He was 1 lb
3.5oz and 11 inches long. TINY. "Its a
boy!"
He was handed off to the NICU team who
resuscitated him within moments. Off to
the NICU he went. I was told that he was
critical but stable. STABLE...my
"non-viable" baby was STABLE. I was so
scared and so happy at the same time. He
stayed in the NICU for 8 days when he
got very sick and was transported to
Children's Hospital where he remains
now. He turned 3 months old yesterday
and today he is 4 POUNDS! He is doing
great! He spent 2 months on a ventilator
and has had 2 infections, and many other
complications, but all in all, he is a
true miracle and a blessing. DO NOT GIVE
UP HOPE. Doctors know a lot, but they
dont know it all, and MIRACLES DO
HAPPEN. My son is living proof of that.
I am so glad that I did not take their
advice and terminate my pregnancy.
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