I'm writing this to give the hope I
needed when I was laying in a hospital
bed wondering what was going to happen
to my baby nine months ago.
I ruptured on October 13, 2007 at 3
a.m. when I was 24 weeks pregnant. My
2 1/2-year-old son came into our room
asking for a glass of water, I stood
up and ... gush. (My due date was
January 27th.) We rushed to the
hospital, where my husband and I were
told that most women with PPROM
usually deliver some time within 48
hours to two weeks of rupturing. We
did the steroid shots right away (and
another dose later around 27 weeks, I
think). A NICU doc outlined the
challenges that preemies face so
early, which scared us to death. I had
never heard of PPROM, so I panicked
that night.
Then slowly over the next few days, we
researched, surrounded ourselves with
unbelievable support from family and
friends, and got centered. I decided
to focus on the 'good' things about
the situation: I was able to rest
before the birth of our daughter. My
son was spending quality time with his
grandparents. I was becoming friends
with my nurses. People were bringing
me food when I rang a bell. Although
that may sound ridiculous, I am
certain that staying positive and
grateful in the face of potential
tragedy is part of what gave us a
miracle. Another part was meditation
and prayer. Mine, yes, but mostly from
others. I'm not a
particularly 'religious' person, but I
will tell you I felt something in that
hospital room ... something like a
warm peaceful cocoon ... something
very spiritual.
Finally, I have a instinct that my
rupture was small and high (perhaps
amnio related). I think that is why I
never got an infection (which was
everyone’s biggest concern because
it’s commonly the reason why ruptured
women go into labor.) I kept
visualizing the rupture getting
smaller and smaller, despite the fact
that I was leaking more and more
amniotic fluid. And I listened to the
medical professionals: I STAYED IN BED
and only got up (two steps) to go to
the bedside commode.
I had a fetal monitor on me
continuously, even when I slept. They
took my temperature and blood pressure
several times throughout the day and
night.
I made a chart with my personal goal
of reaching 36 weeks (my docs, who
thought I’d be lucky to make it to
Halloween, then Thanksgiving, only
wanted me to go to 34 weeks because of
the risk of infection. They wanted to
induce at 34.) Every Sunday I would
check off our accomplishment. Two
weeks down, 10 to go. Five down, 7 to
go. When we were deciding on names and
read that “Colette” means victory, we
knew that’s what we’d call her. We
wanted to cross a finish line.
One thing I needed to be careful of
when I was in the hospital was
spending too much time looking at the
internet. A bit of research is
healthy, but obsessing shifted me from
gratitude to worry. And I knew that
could change everything. I needed to
feel positive about whatever happened.
I needed to know we could handle
whatever outcome we faced. When I
finally truly felt that, I relaxed. I
spoke with some wonderful, strong
women who had preemies and handled
their situations with grace. They gave
me great advice and great
comfort.
The hardest part of the whole
experience was not being able to see
my husband and son every day. But we
knew it was for the best and, of
course, it was not forever.
In the end, we were so very fortunate.
Colette didn't make her appearance
until December 26, 2007, at 35 weeks 2
days ... the day after I took my first
walk 30 feet down the hall (my
Christmas present.) She was born
completely naturally within 25 minutes
of the first serious contraction. It
was all very fast. I was watching the
6 o’clock news one minute and I was
pushing out a baby the next. My
husband and OB arrived just 10 minutes
before Colette did.
She spent a week in the NICU after her
lung collapsed during the delivery.
She was on a ventilator for 24 hours
and had jaundice as well. All nothing
compared to what I worried about on
that first night, 11 weeks
earlier.
Still now, every day my eyes well up
over the gift we were given. And I’m
actually grateful for the way she came
to us too. It makes it all even
sweeter.
Feel free to contact me by email
stasia33@ymail.com.
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