We were so happy to find out we were
going to have a baby after 7months of
trying and fertility treatment,
especially as my first pregnancy (also
conceived after treatment) had ended
in miscarriage at 8 weeks. However it
wasn't easy from the start, and I had
several small bleeds, which thankfully
hadn't harmed the baby.
Thing were just starting to settle
down when at around 17 weeks I started
to get a watery discharge. I was very
worried about this but the 3 midwives
I spoke to said it was normal,so I
tried to put it to the back of my
mind.
Then a week later I got up in the
night to go to the bathroom when my
waters broke with a gush. We were told
at the hospital that all the fluid was
gone, and given the devastating fact
that the baby probably wouldn't
survive, as I would go into labour or
get an infection. We were offered a
termination, but as the baby was so
healthy and lively on the scans
despite the lack of fluid,we felt we
couldn't do this-we had to give the
baby a chance.
I was discharged home until I reached
26 weeks,at which point I was admitted
to hospital for steroids. I spent 11
weeks on bed rest,only getting up to
go to the bathroom & shower. I stayed
free from infection, and our baby
continued to grow and fight back-
literally! He would move all the time
and kick hell out of the Dr's who
scanned him or tried to listen to his
heartbeat! He had avery determined
little spirit from the start! But my
fluid levels were only ever between 0 -
2.5cm's, despite all the bedrest &
fluids- I continued to make lots of
fluid but it leaked constantly.
When I reached 29 weeks, on Easter
Sunday, i was in a lot of pain around
my pubic bone. I had had this pain all
week & the Dr's thought I was getting
SPD, but as the pain was worse they
decided to examine me. Nobody thought
I was in labour,not even me, as it
didn't feel that bad, but it turned
out I was 5cm dilated and hte baby's
bottom was there. I was taken to
delivery suite and had progressed to
9cm in 1/2 hour,still with minimal
pain and the contractions not
registering on the monitors. However i
stopped progressing and as baby's
heartbeat kept dipping, I was taken
for an emergency c-section.
At 03.45 on 24th March 2008, Easter
Monday, baby Evan Thomas Whittaker was
born weighing 2lb 9oz, at 29 weeks 1
day. He was absolutely beautiful, and
continued to fight as hard as before.
Evan had several ups and downs in NICU
that day, and when he was only 2hours
old we were advised to have him
baptised. But he fought back and by
that evening he was doing really well.
We were so hopeful he would make it-
he had come this far, surely we
couldn't lose him now?
However at 22.15pm that night little
Evan lost his brave fight. His little
lungs were just too small& were
putting too much pressure on his heart-
his body couldn't take any more. As I
sat and stroked his head and told him
that I loved him and was so proud of
him,his blood pressure plummeted and
the NICU team started to rescusitate
him. But he was already taking the
maximum amount of meds possible and
the CPR wasn't working. After 15
minutes we asked if they could do
anymore. The Dr said no so we told
them to stop-we couldn't bear to see
them doing that to his small body for
no reason, when it just wasn't
working. They removed all his tubes
and gave him to me to hold for the 1st
time, then his heart stopped beating
moments later and he fell asleep in
his mummy's arms.
We are devastated by our beautiful
boys' loss & miss him so much. We will
never get over losing him,and we will
never forget him. Reading the stories
on this site helped me stay positive
throughout my time on bedrest, & I
hope sharing my story can help me, and
others, somehow now. I wouldn't change
any of the decisions we made and am
glad we decided to give Evan the
chance of life. His 18 1/2 hours on
this earth were the best of my life
and so worth it. I wish all those
going through this terrible time now
the best of luck and would urge you to
keep positive-miracles do happen and I
hope&pray they will for all of you
x
Please light a candle for Evan at
http://evan-thomas-
whittaker.gonetoosoon.co.uk
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