Back in August, I had a m/c at 5
weeks. It started at the gym, really
not fun. We (obviously) had to leave
very quickly. I went to the doc to
get checked out, she wasn't sure if I
had actually been pg bc it was about 2
weeks until I could get an appointment
to see them. I went back about a
month later and was sent for an u/s to
see what was wrong. I realized the
night before the u/s that I should
have gotten my period. I did a test
and sure enough, we were pregnant! I
called and they changed the scheduled
u/s to a pg u/s. I was 5 weeks and 2
days. For those of you in the US, I
got pg over Labor Day weekend,
beginning of Sept. After about a week,
we sent the u/s pic via phone to our
families. My brother was the funny
one who said, "what did you take a
picture of - a sandbox with a hole in
it?" The pic was grainy with a very
definite black circle. Evan's heart
was already beating so I got to see
his little heart beating and see them
measure it. I was SOOO Happy, I
started crying.
I started progesterone suppositories
immediately. I had a business trip to
Ireland scheduled for the next week.
I went to Dublin. The second morning
in Ireland, I started bleeding when I
got to work. I was alone, in Ireland,
6 weeks pg and bleeding... I talked
to one of the women there, they called
in the doctor to the site, he sent me
over to a hospital to get an u/s.
$270 euros, not expenseable, worse
with the really bad exchange rate.
But, I got another look at my little
guy. They said he was fine, but told
me to rest. I cancelled the rest of
the trip, stayed in bed in the hotel
for a day and a half and then flew
home. Fortunately, they fly us
business class when we go overseas.
I got back home and went to my doc. I
had a cervical polyp that was causing
the bleeding. It was being pushed and
twisted. The doc thought it would
come out on it's own but I would be
bleeding for a while. We had a
vacation scheduled with Rob's parents
and they said we could go. So, 11
hours in the car to Maine. We did
some light hiking. Very light bc I
was such morning sickness, well really
any point in the day sickness. I had
to be fed at very regular intervals.
I think his mom wanted to do more
hiking, but I think his dad was very
happy that I was limited and needed to
eat on a continual basis! I started
losing tissue toward the end of the
week. We were freaking out! We
called and got an appt for another
u/s. This one was at 8 weeks. The
polyp was gone and my little Evan was
starting to look like a tiny baby.
This started a few weeks of no
problems, other than still being
naseaus all the time. I went to the
doc at 12 weeks and got to hear the
heartbeat for the first time. That
was so amazing. I found out that my
neighbor is pg also, she is 2 weeks
ahead of where I was. I went to do
some training at our site in Manitoba
and one of the women I was working
with was 1 week behind.
Then early in the morning on 12/10, I
woke up all wet. I thought I was
sweating, I was really hot. I went
back to sleep and woke up about an
hour later, wet again. At this point
I thought something might be wrong. I
called the doc at about 3 AM. When I
kept feeling wet, we went to the ER.
They couldn't tell it was amniotic
fluid but when we had an u/s at 7:30
am, we had low fluid. That morning
was the first time Rob saw Evan and
heard his h/b. Doom and gloom later,
we came home and started searching.
We made it 1 week + 1 day. On 12/18,
I went to the bathroom and the cord
was hanging down. We had been hopeful
becuase the day before we had been at
a peri and there had been a little bit
of fluid. It all came crashing down.
Rob was out and I called him to come
home. He came home, got me in the car
and then asked if he should get the
camera. We had been reading the
stories on prom and knew that we would
want pictures of our baby. We got to
labor and delivery and the nurses were
amazing.
I had a horrible time. When we got
there, the nurse did an u/s and Evan
was alive with a stong h/b. A couple
of hours later, the doc came in and
did another u/s. His h/b was much
lower, around 40. We were waiting for
our precious baby to die. The nurse
came back another hour later and we
asked when we could start to induce.
She said the doc had said a few hours,
but she would check. Our angel no
longer had a h/b. She started to
induce. Almost immediately, I started
throwing up and my bp dropped to
70/40. After about 6 hours of this,
I delivered Evan. We had decided on
either Evan or Emily a while earlier.
We had changed our middle name choice
after the prom to Emily Hope or Evan
Patrick. They took out Evan and
brought him back wrapped in a
blanket. We got to hold him, kiss
him, talk to him. We had Evan
baptized. After that, they tried to
deliver the placenta. After another
few hours, they took me in for a D&C
to get it out.
Rob had been holding Evan the whole
time I was gone. The chaplin stayed
with him while I was gone. They took
some of the most wonderful pictures of
Evan, ones that I most cherish. We
got to hold him again in the morning
and then had to let him go. I noticed
that he had big fat feet, like his
daddy. He had my nose. He had his
Daddy's profile. He is my angel and I
miss him so much. We have his ashes
in a little silver heart on the
mantle, but he will always be alive in
my heart. I never got to feel him
move inside me, but he has moved me
and put his little chubby foot on my
heart for always. And now, if he is
like his Daddy, he is flirting up a
storm in heaven..
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