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My story started on Feb 2, 2008, a
Saturday afternoon, when I was 18
weeks and 4 days pregnant. This was
my third pregnancy after two full
terms resulting in my sons, ages 9 and
4. This little miracle, I would soon
learn, was the baby girl I had wanted
all of my life. I wanted a girl so
much so that we planned this pregnancy
based on the Chinese Lunar Calendar,
hoping so much for it to be correct.
Anyhow, I was home alone that Saturday
and was lying down watching t.v. when
I felt like I had a gush of urine. I
stood up to go to the rest room and
made it a few steps before it felt
like someone poured a pitcher of water
down my legs. I knew immediately what
was happening, although I had never
experienced it. With both of my boys,
the doctor had to break my water
during the labor process. Now here I
was, two days from my first ultrasound
with a puddle at my feet. Scared and
devestated, I got in my car and drove
20 miles to the emergency room. After
I was taken to labor and delivery the
fluid was confirmed to be amniotic
fluid and my doctor was called. This
was about 4:30 pm. My husband,
parents and best friend quickly
arrived and we were all just so
confused and upset. We waited almost
8 hours before my doctor would arrive
to state that he had never had this
happen to one of his patients and he
had been trying to find out as much
info as possible before meeting with
us. He basically said that the
chances of our baby surviving were
about 12% and that because I was not
yet 24 weeks, he would have to send me
home. He did allow me to stay at the
hospital for 5 days on antibiotics and
then after 5 more days of bedrest at
home, my labor began. I just felt
like there was no hope, from the
moment my water broke. Now, looking
back, I wish that I would have given
all my worries to God and trusted that
He could truly make miracles happen.
I just felt so hopeless lying in bed
day after day, "waiting" for the baby
to come. Our angel, Clarity Jade, was
born after 5 hours of hard labor on
Feb. 12, 2008. She was 11 inches, 14
ounces and beautiful. The only thing
I ever got to buy for my baby girl was
the gown she would be buried in. Her
funeral was Feb. 15, 2008 and she was
buried next to my grandmother. I am
still living in a fog from this
tragedy. I don't feel like I will
ever relate to anyone again. My kids
still ask about their baby sister and
want to know when she will come home
from Heaven. I just want to join
her. Thank you for allowing me to
share my story.
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