Six days ago I lost my son, Seymour
Shane. This is Seymour's Story:
I am 34 years old, married for 10
years and my husband and I have 3
boys. We had waited 4 years since our
last child to try to get pregnant
again because I had just finished
college and we had just moved to a new
state. We were pregnant on our first
try (which has happened every time for
us). I was due June 4th, 2008.
The pregnancy was absolutely normal.
No bleeding, no cramping, no leaking,
no sickness, nothing. I have gone full
term with my other three boys and my
water had to be broken during induced
labor with each. I have never
miscarried. So on January 7th, we were
in complete disbelief when things
started to go wrong.
I was home cooking supper when I felt
a pressure like I was about to pass
blood clot. I went into the bathroom
to find a large red buldge coming out
of my vagina (no one, to this day,
quite knows what it was - possibly my
sac). We rushed to the hospital with
the 3 boys.
At the hospital, the "buldge" was no
longer present, but my underwear were
damp and tested positive for amniotic
fluid. We were devestated until we saw
the ultrasound which showed plenty of
fluid and a healthy heartbeat. We also
found out and that moment that we were
having our 4th boy.
The doctor admitted me, put me in the
upside down position and started
antibiotics. About an hour later I
had a huge gush. Next ultrasound
showed almost no fluid. The doctor
told us to prepare for losing the
baby. We went through 2 days of
torture just waiting for "it" to
happen.
In the meantime, my husband and best
friend found this website and printed
out the "green" stories for me. I
started to gain hope again. Everyday
we saw our little boy moving around on
the ultrasound and every four hours we
heard his strong little heartbeat on
the monitor.
After one week passed, I truly started
to believe we were going to be a green
story too. After two weeks passed, I
was absolutely positive everything was
going to be okay. The baby was doing
great, I showed no signs of infection
or labour and even my doctor started
to become hopeful. It was going to be
a long, hard road, but I was
prepared.
Sadly, on the fifteenth day in the
hospital, the ultrasound showed no
heartbeat. It had been there only
hours before and then it was gone. The
doctor wanted to immediately induce
because my blood count now showed an
infection (there had been none
before), but before he could even
start pitocin, my body contracted and
my little boy was born. He was 14.6
ounces and 12" long. He was absolutley
perfect. We got to hold him and our
boys got to hold him as well. Letting
go of him was the worst moment of my
life even though he was already
gone.
As I said, this was only 6 days ago
and right now I feel as though I can
not ever go on. I have never felt a
pain like this in my life. I loved
Seymour as much as I love my other
three boys and I will never forget
him. We had a funeral two days ago and
his burial is tomorrow. I am thankful
for the pictures we took and the
footprints and momentos the hospital
gave me. I don't know that this story
will help anyone, but I guess it feels
theraputic to me.
I hope that someday I can be the super
mom and wife that I once was, but
right now I am empty. My deepest
sympathy goes out to anyone else in
this situation. I greive for you and
with you.
Terri
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