Five AM Sunday: I woke up to a "wet
feeling", but wasn't sure if it was
my water. So I went back to bed, heart
racing like crazy. I tried to sleep,
but couldn't until I felt Franklin
moving. I dozed off until 8AM, when I
got the same feeling again. This time I
checked, no blood again, but it smelled
like aminotic fluid. Franklin was still
moving, and no contractions. I tried to
lay down and go over my options. Being
600+ miles from home, and having to
deal with this was quite taxing. At
8:30 I told Kevin that we had a "small
problem"! His face sunk. By 9, I went
upstairs to tell my parents. (Still no
contractions) My dad was joking, asking
if I had the baby overnight! Close, but
not quite! They got upset, but I
remained calm....I'm still not sure
exactly how....but I was calm! Now, I
know, it was the Peace of God!
I called my midwife, here in NC, from
NY and asked her what I should do,
hoping that she would say to come
straight home! No such luck! "Go
straight to the nearest emergency
room"! Great!!! Horton Memorial
Hospital was our first stop. The on
call OB checked my cervix, and said
that I wasn't dialated....Great
news!!! But it was aminotic fluid that
I was leaking! (No kidding....after 5
kids, don't you think I know what it
was???)
First ambulance ride.....from Horton,
to Westchester Medical Center....a
Level 3 Neonatal facility. They again
checked me out, and did an
ultrasound....Franklin looked great!!!
Three + pounds, and healthy! After
doing several tests, including a Group
B Strep, I was admitted to the OB ward
at 10PM Sunday. My roomie was in the
same condition as I was, and we were
due around the same time! She had been
there 14 days when I arrived! Sit and
wait!
Monday, I spoke with the dr's and told
them that I needed to be closer to
home, especially if I was going to be
staying for the long haul! They agreed!
The people there were fantastic! They
arranged everything, including a
mediflight, on a small plane!
By this time, I was stressed and
exhusted! I had been "stuck" 6 times
for IV's, and each time, they either
penetrated the veins, or they
"infiltrated" (punctured and the IV
ended up under the skin!) I was in
pain, needing antibiotics, and my veins
weren't cooperating! I had received a
steriod shot on Sunday night, then
again on Monday night. This was to help
speed the development of Franklin's
lungs. Oh, I also had another Level 2
US, which showed Franklin weighing in
around 3 lbs 6 oz! Everything still
looked great!!! I was still calm, and
had a peace about the whole experience.
Peace that passes all understanding!!!
I should have been on a plane on
Monday, but my insurance company messed
up, and I had to wait another 24 hours.
I wasn't a happy camper!!!
Tuesday: My "chariot" arrived around
1:30-2PM, and we were off to the
airport! It was an hour and 40 min
trip! Not bad, except my IV gave me
problems during flight! They tried to
stick me again, but she missed, too!
Ouch!!! We arrived at Raleigh Durham
Airport at 4:40, but had to wait for
the ambulance until 5! (They got stuck
in traffic!!!!) We arrived at Durham
Regional Hospital around 5:30. I was
admitted, and checked out. They kept me
in the LDR all night for observation.
During the flight, I tried to pray. All
I can remember saying is "Lord, please
keep Franklin safe in your hands".
Then, all of a sudden, a "vision"
appeared....I saw the Lord's hands,
holding Franklin, and he was wearing a
diaper, and angel's wings! My eye's
popped open, and I could not
"connect" in prayer again! I was
surprised, and deep down, I think I
knew what it meant, but refused to
accept it!
The OB on call, wanted me to go
straight to Duke Hospital (another
level 3 neonatal facility), but after
being stuck, poked and prodded by
strangers, I wanted to see a familiar
face! And the head OB in my group said
to go to "our" hospital. Well,
everything looked fine! So he kept me.
Then around 4:30 AM, I woke up shaking
with terrible chills! Problems begun! I
began to run a fever, and Franklin's
heart rate went up to 180-190! It was
running 160-165 the whole pregnancy.
They rushed me to Duke at 5AM!!! Fourth
ambulance ride!
Wednesday, 5:30AM: I was checked into
Duke Hospital's LDR. they checked me
out, still not dialated, but
Franklin's heart rate was still up, as
well as my fever! Decisions....First of
all, another IV :'''( They called in
a specialist who was wonderful!!! The
decision was to induce with Pitocin,
and if Franklin went into distress, and
emergency c-section would be ordered!
Everyone was extremely informative!! I
felt at ease! About this time, I was
ready for the c-section! I didn't have
any energy for a long labor! I was
almost begging for one, but I'm glad
that I didn't need it!
The Pit was started at 7AM, along with
about 4 other bags of fluids! Things
went well, and relatively fast! At
about 11:30, I was about 4 cm dialated,
and by 11:50, I was ready to push! They
ran me to the Operating room, "just in
case", and with one push, Franklin was
born! I got to see him for 2 seconds
before they raced him off to the back
room to stablize him. I couldn't see
him for another 3 hours, and when I
did, I lost it! He was covered with
blue sheets, with all these wires and
tubes coming out of him. I got to touch
him for about a minute, and then was
taken to my room.
Around 5 PM, the neonatal dr came into
talk to me. While he was there, he got
page, and raced out of the room. All he
said was "it's your son"! I
panicked! I called Kevin, who had just
left to go home to change clothes and
take a shower. He raced back to the
hospital, and we were taken down to the
NICU. We were there for 2 1/2 + hours,
watching everything they were doing to
Franklin. The dr kept us informed every
step of the way. He was losing hope
quickly, and so were we! We kept
praying for a miracle. I really felt as
if we were going to get our miracle! I
didn't expect it to be in the form of
an angel!
Around 5:40, Kevin felt a "presence"
in the NICU. He said it felt like
death. He prayed that God would give us
a few more hours with Franklin, and
then he said it was gone.
Around 6:45, they let us hold Franklin
while they still kept bagging him with
oxygen. They took pictures for us (yes,
it's disgusting....unless you've been
there!!!!) Then, we watched his heart
rate, which was 180 when we arrived,
drop down to 118. We knew what was
happening, but it didn't make it any
easier!!! They shut off the monitors,
and had us turn around while they took
off all of the tubes and wires. They
wrapped him in a blanket for us, and
let us take him to the head dr's
office, to say our goodbyes.
Our pastor spent most of the day with
us! He was a total blessing!!! He even
baptized Franklin, while he was still
alive! He said that he saw the light of
God, in Franklin's eyes, while he was
baptizing him! It really touched him!
We could tell afterwards, the impact
our son's short life, had on our
pastor!! After awhile, the dr came in,
and told us that they wanted to bathe
Franklin, and give us some memories of
his short life with us!
The whole neonatal team were
fantastic!!! They were almost as upset
as we were when he died. They prayed
with us, and cried with us! They were
our family at that time! Many of the
nurses from the LDR, and from the
nursery came to off their condolences
the morning I was leaving! Most were
filled with tears!
I came home around 11AM Thursday
morning. It was just too hard listening
to the other babies crying all night
long! My fever had broke Wednesday
night, so they let me leave! They
understood! Now comes the healing, both
physically and emotionally!
This is something (another thing) that
we don't wish on any parent! There are
so many strings to tie up. Kevin has
been wonderful!!! He is taking care of
the funeral arrangements. We were going
to bury him, but for cost sake, we're
going to have him cremated. As my OB
said, spend the money on your living
children!
This has been an extremely emotional
week for all of us, and we thank you
for every one of your prayers. We're
already beginning to heal, but it will
take a lot longer to overcome!
Another thing that I kept telling Kevin
that I was feeling "wiser" the few
months before all of this. I couldn't
understand it then, it was a great
feeling, but now, I think it again, was
God's presence, and wisdom! I think He
was preparing me for the end!
Kevin's "insight" was that one of
the neonatal doctors who worked on
Franklin, was from Thailand. Kevin's
uncle, Andy, fought and was killed in
Thailand, trying to save that country.
Santi, fought here in the US, to try to
save our son! Franklin's middle name
is "Andrew"! We named him in memory
of Andy! We've never done this with
any of our other children!!! The
Lord's hand, again?!?!?!?
Oh, ONE more last thing....while we
were driving to pick up our other kids,
I was asking Kevin (and God) why
didn't He hear our prayers? We had
sooo many people praying for a miracle!
Well, out of my own mouth came these
words "Your prayers were heard, but
sometimes the answer is No!" I broke
into tears, because I knew that it was
the Lord speaking through my own
words!!! Those were the furthest
thoughts from my mind! I know our son
is in heaven, and will be celebrating
Christmas with all of the heavenly
hosts, and our family that have gone
before us!! What a beautiful sight that
must be!!!
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FranklinĀ“s Story can also be found
here, with pictures: http://members.aol.com/Tr
ish360/
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