Well, I am actually excited to share my
story. I want to share hope with those
of you who seek it on this website. I
remember reading these stories over and
over again seeking hope. And I did get
it.
I was 39 years old and got pregnant with
my husband the first time we tried. I
remember thinking Wow that was so easy.
Everyone says how its so hard to get
pregnant after 35 etc. I couldn't
believe our luck. At 6 weeks, I woke up
bloody on a Saturday morning. We went
to the ER. I got a US. There was a
fetal heartbeat. So, the PA told us to
go home and take it easy, everything
looked okay. And everything was normal
for the next 5 weeks.
At 12 weeks, we had an appointment with
a specialist to do a CVS test. Because
I was over 35, we wanted to test for
Downs Syndrome and other chromosomal
abnormalities. I did not want to wait
until week 16 or more for an
amniocentisis. My doctor knew my choice
would be to terminate if there were
problems. I hesitate to print this
part, but it is pertinent later in my
story. I realize it is not a nice thing
to print, however, I know my limits and
I know what I am good at. I was very
clear about my beliefs to my OB. Also,
I am not religious in any way. So,
about 5 days before our test, I woke up
on a Thursday very bloody and wet. I
had a big trial the day before and
thought it may have been stress induced.
I called the doctor and he saw me that
morning. Told me baby looked fine. He
saw it swimming around with a healthy
heartbeat. He said to inform the
specialist. We did and he said to
remain on bedrest for the next 4 days
prior to our CVS test on Monday. I had
no more bleeding.
We did the test. We found out at 12 1/2
weeks we were having a HEALTHY baby
girl!! The doctor said that if
anything, like spontaeous abortion, were
to happen as a result of the procedure,
it would occur within 2 weeks. We
wanted to wait unitil Mother's day to
announce it to everyone (at 14 weeks).
We told everyone our great news on
Sunday. That Monday, at work, I was
sitting in my office on the phone, when
I felt a little trickle inside of me. I
ignored it. About 2 minutes later, a
big rush happened. I was gushing blood.
I left work bawling. A co-worker drove
me to the doctor. I was bleeding
profusely. I was put on bedrest. After
2 weeks, everything seemed normal, so I
went back to work at 16 weeks pregnant.
One week later on a Tuesday at about
4:45 pm, I felt a trickle run from
inside to outside. I remember thinking,
don't panic, you've bled before. Doctor
said I might bleed the whole pregnancy.
I went to the bathroom prepared to see
blood, but...no blood. I was a little
wet. I smelled it, thinking, oh no am I
already leaking urine. (I had read that
is a possibility!) At around 5pm, I
felt the trickle again. I called my
doctor on the way home from work. He
said how much? I said a couple
teaspoons full. He said it sounds like
urine leakage. I told him, I knew it
wasn't because it didn't smell like it,
but more importantly, I know when I am
peeing! I can feel it. It wasn't
urine. He told me to come in in the
morning, and to go to the hospital if it
got worse that night. I walked in the
house and changed from work while I was
telling my husband the newest situation.
He said, its probably urine. I knew it
wasn't. And as I undressed, the fluid
was steadily trickling out. I sat down
for about an hour holding tissue to my
shorts while we talked about what it
could be. Finally, when I got up, there
was a huge puddle and finally a big gush
of water came running down my legs. I
started bawling. We went to the
hospital. My doctor came there and
examined me. As soon as he put his head
down to look at me, I saw the expression
on his face. I was crying so hard. I
said, its amniotic fluid isn't it? He
said, I'm afraid it is. I am so sorry.
I was hysterical sobbing. I remember
asking over and over what this meant.
And he just said, it isn't good. I
wanted to know exactly what it meant
though. Having never had a child
before, I didn't really understand the
water breaking thing. I really didn't
know what was happening. He said the
main concern is infection and delivery.
He said to go home on bedrest and to go
to the hospital if I felt any painful
cramping or heavy bleeding or had a high
fever. He said he would schedule a home
nurse for me to monitor the heart beat
and take my CBC for infection watch.
Other than that, he said to remain on
bedrest until the baby was viable which
was 24 weeks. I said and then what? He
said and then we shoot for 2 more weeks.
And we keep going for 2 weeks at a
time. But, first I had to hold on for 6
1/2 more weeks.
I went home hysterical sobbing. I
didn't understand what was happening. I
was already so in love with my little
Tava. We had already named her. I was
distraght. After that, I was on home
bedrest with home monitoring 3 x's
weekly. My OB did not want me in a car
to go to his office. We kept our 20
week US. We had an AFI of 6.7. The OB
said I might carry to term and then lose
the baby because the lungs didn't
develop. I remember during this phase
of the journey hating my OB! He never
told me any of the facts. I was
learning them as I went along week by
lonely week. I would get on the
computer and research the issue. I
would read any and everything I could
about the topic.
At around 24 weeks, my OB informed me, I
was going to the hospital. I remember
being shocked. He never told me things
ahead of time. It was around that time
that I found this website. I had
steroids at 24 weeks and at 28 weeks. I
had a week's worth of antibiotics. I
had an AFI of about 5 the whole time. I
had weekly US. She was growing
perfectly! I got gestational diabetes.
The hospital sucked. I cried all the
time. My husband stayed with me
everynight. There was little hope. As
the weeks slowly passed, I gained a
small bit of hope. I bled at 30 weeks
for a day.
At 32 weeks, 1 day, I started cramping.
I cramped all day. Finally at about 8
pm, I called the nurse. She listened to
the baby's HR. I had developed a fever.
They called for a crash c-section.
Everything was happening so fast. The
time had come to find out if my baby was
going to be born alive. I was sooooo
scared. I cried so hard. And they just
kept telling me to breathe. I was put
under immediately. When I awoke, mu
husband was standing above me and I
asked if she was alive. He said yes.
Then I asked if she had lungs. He said
yes, she has lungs. I cried and cried
and cried.
Tava Leigh spent the next 7 weeks in the
NICU. She came home just shy of her DD.
She spent many weeks on O2. That was
her only issue. She had immauture
lungs. She is perfect in everyway. She
is really a cute, happy 3 month old.
She is small, but she is mighty. She
was born at 3 lbs, 8 oz and 16 1/4 inch.
She is 9 lbs and 21 inches!!! She is
everything to me and I have such an
amazing and deep bond with her. She is
my first and my only. I will never go
through this again. I will not put my
family, including her through this.
especially when it is a possibility and
we had such a great outcome. I consider
myself fully blessed and complete with
her!
It's funny, since I got on this website,
I noticed that many (almost all) women
were told to terminate. They were given
the worst case scenerio and they were
mad about that. I was not told
anything. Termination was not even
mentioned. And my doctor knew how I
felt about that! He knew I was kind of
clinical about it. He is a Mormon and I
used to think maybe he had his own
religious views involved. I was mad
about not being told anything!! I don't
know what choice I would have made if he
had told me all of the very real facts
about my situation. Today, I know this,
I am very grateful for the way it turned
out. I am glad that he did not mentuion
termination. I am lucky that I had a
doctor who kept me in the dark. I went
to see him for my 6 week check up and I
asked him why he was that way with my
Pprom. He said, he knew that if it were
him or his wife, they would not have
given up hope. And that, my friends is
what it was all about. HOPE.
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