Hi. I'm Lara, and my story is like
many of yours. I found out I was
pregnant in April,and after trying for
15 months, we were ectstatic. It was
our first. Things seemed to start
going wrong almost straight away, and
I started having stomach cramps. We
were sent for a scan at 5 weeks, just
incase it was eptopic or apendicitis.
But I had neither. Another scan at 7
weeks checked the viability, and all
seemed fine. The first bleed and first
trip to emergency was at 10 weeks, so
we had another scan. There was no
reason found, so we were sent home. We
had a nuchal scan at 12 weeks, and
growth rates etc were all spot on, so
sent home again. The bleeding started
to get heavier, and included biscuit
size clots, which was terrifying. We
were in emergency so often, that we
had our own room! In hindsight I knew
I wasn't going to have my baby. We
didn't ever get excited, or buy one
item for him. Each time we bled, we
went to emergency, but they couldn't
see a reason, until placenta pravia,
grade 3 was diagnosed at 17 weeks. I
was told to take it easy, but not to
worry. They would check again at my 20
week scan. Then one night, at around
3am, I felt more fluid, and
immediately thought it was more
bleeding. When I checked, I was
devastated to see clear fluid. I went
back to bed, hoping it was a dream.
However, 1/2 hour later there was
more, and I rang Labour Ward, and they
told me to come straight down. I was
terrified. They admitted me, and we
were told we had a very poor
prognosis, and to expect to deliver
within the week. They offered us a
termination 2 days later, but we
refused, as we had to give him every
chance. His heartbeat was consistant
and strong, and we hoped he was a
fighter. When a week passed, and he
didn't come, we kept our fingers
crossed and secretly thought that
maybe it was going to be ok, but on
the 10th day (August 15th), I had
stomach cramps, starting at midnight.
I thought I was constipated, and so
did the midwives and my consultant. I
was in agony all that day, and even
had the 22 weeks scan at 3 pm, after
having contractions for over 12 hours.
The sonographer told us everything was
ok. I just don't know how he missed
it. I went to the loo at 9.50pm and
had the urge to push, and out came a
beautiful foot. I was hysterical, and
pulled all the cords and pushed all
the buttons near me. My wonderful
midwife appeared and took control. My
husband must have flown there, as the
next thing I knew he was by my side. I
gave birth to my beautiful and perfect
baby boy at 10.30pm. He survived for
40 precious minutes. He weighed 1lb
9oz, but as we were before 24 weeks,
there was nothing they would do to
save him. He was just too little. All
he knew in this world was our love and
that he was safe. I was eventually
taken down to theatre as my placenta
was coming in bits. When I came round
from anaethetic I told my husband his
name is Tommy, and so we named him. It
wasn't our chosen name. I think Tommy
chose it for himself. The placenta was
sent off, and came back that it was
severely infected, which caused the
waters to go. It just wouldn't have
been able to sustain the growth of my
boy any further. They can't tell me
what caused the infection. Tommy, had
he have gone full term would have been
a big boy, and I miss him everyday. My
husband says that if we had to lose a
child, then better now than when they
are 5 or 10 years old or older. At
least all he knew was love, and no
pain.
We have just been given the all clear
to try again, and we want to fill this
gap in our family. Tommy will always
be loved and never forgotten. He will
always be our first born, and our
others will know they have an older
brother looking down on them to keep
them safe.
Love to everyone who feels the
same.
Lara xxxxxxxxx
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