I found out I was pregnant in November
of 2006, right before Thanksgiving. My
husband and I weren't even trying, so
I was pretty shocked when I found out
I was expecting. We told his family
the weekend of Thanksgiving, I was
about 7 weeks then.
On the way home from our weekend with
his family, I started bleeding pretty
heavily. The only thing I knew was
that I was probably having a
miscarriage. I called my dr. and he
advised me to go to the ER as soon as
I could. (I hadn't even had my first
OB checkup yet). We went to the ER
immediately. They did several tests
and told me to expect to miscarry and
sent me home. I went back a couple
days later and they told me that I
hadn't miscarried yet, but the chances
were good that I still would. A couple
days after that I saw my dr. for the
first time since I had gotten
pregnant. The bleeding had slowed
significantly and I was only spotting
a little bit every now and then. The
dr. told me that everything looked
great, in spite of the early pregnancy
bleeding, and that there was only a 3%
chance that I'd lose my baby.
Although I was at times skeptical, I
began to get very excited about having
a child.
Unfortunately, one Sunday I stood up
at the end of the service and felt a
gush of water. I thought I had started
to bleed again and rushed to the
bathroom. I was confused to find out
that there was no blood and thought
that I had just had a moment of
incompetence. Later that afternoon I
laid down to rest and felt another
huge gush of water. We went to the ER
immediately and they told me my uterus
had ruptured. I was put on bedrest for
a week. After a week of doing nothing
but going to the bathroom and laying
in bed I went back to the dr. My baby
was still alive, but there was no
water at all and the uterus had
collapsed on the baby. I was given the
option to terminate the pregnancy, but
as long as I could see that steady
little heartbeat I knew I would never
be able to end it. I went back every
two days for two weeks for checkups
and each time was told I would need to
make a decision soon about ending the
pregnancy or the risk of infection
would increase and potentially could
put myself at risk. Every time the
heartbeat was still there. All I could
think of were the ultrasounds where my
baby was "jumping" up and down inside
of me or "waving" his little hand. Two
and a half weeks later I found out
that our baby had passed away. I was
devastated. We went in the next
morning so that I could be induced. It
was a long and agonizing day, but I
gave birth that same evening to a baby
boy. He weighed almost 2 lbs.
It's now been almost 8 months since we
lost him and I am hungry for any
information that I can get that might
give me a clue as to why things
happened the way they did. I'll
probably never understand it.
We want to try to get pregnant again,
but I have so many fears and am so
scared the same thing will happen
again.
If anyone has any advice or
suggestions on this, please feel free
to email me. Both of my sisters-in-law
have given birth to beautiful, healthy
babies since I have lost mine and I
can only hope and pray that one day
soon God will give me a baby of my
own.
I've read so many of your stories and
know the same, real pain that many of
you have experienced and I pray that
God will answer your desires in a very
special way.
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