Our Baby has Wings,
After becoming pregnant I suffered
from various complications. I had
hyperthyroid, but the most important
being that I bled for the entire first
trimester. My doctor said there was no
way to treat it or anything he could
do to stop it. This is my first
pregnancy so I was naive. I belived
him when he said that this wouldn't
cause any further complications. I
wish I would have know...At 19w5d I
didn't feel well. I had woken up very
early in the morning and thought I wet
myself. I didn't understand but didn't
say anything either. Later that night
I had a horrible migraine so my mother
came over. She said I should call the
doctor because she believed my water
had broke. I was instructed to go to
the hospital immediatley. It seems
everyone checked me once I was
admitted but nobody said anything.
Finally, after sitting alone with my
finace a doctor walked in. He did an
ultrasound then looked at us and said
our baby would die. He informed me
that we weren't "viable" yet and that
I had suffered from PROM. We had no
idea what that meant, but we prayed.
He said I would probably deliver
within the week if not very soon, but
that there were some cases where women
made it to nearly term. I
believed...and then four days later I
was sent home, still pregnant, but on
bedrest since I showed no signs of
infection. I was told to return to the
hospital at 24weeks. Time passed and I
continued to leak fluid. At 24weeks we
checked into the hospital. There was
still no fluid and no answers but
everything else looked fine and I had
received my steriod shots already. My
daughter, Devyn, started to suffer
from decells due to no fluid so I
stayed monitored the majority of the
following two weeks. At 26w1d I felt a
series of horrible pains. The nurses
pumped me full of fluids hoping it was
because I was dehydrated. I knew I
wasn't though. I was scared, it was
too soon. My fiance got dressed and
joined me in surgery shortly after
they started cutting. Minutes passed
while a NICU team gathered. She
arrived with legs moving and hands
thrown in the air. Devyn was alive!
The NICU team had to paralyze her with
medicine because she was fighting to
hard, but within two hours she had
inflated her own lungs. My daughter
was fighting. In the end though her
fight was shortlived. 37 1/2 hours
after I had Devyn, she grew tired. She
had maxed out on her meds. Her lungs
were to little. My body had failed
her. Our baby closed her eyes while in
my arms and grew her wings. She was so
perfect in every way, but still I had
to bury her. Now she will forever live
in the arms of God. I will never hear
her cry or see her ride a bike. I
won't be able to hold her when she's
sick or laugh with her like I have my
own mother, but this is ok. I have
peace...my child now dances with God
and plays with the other angels. I
want ttc again, but I need more
answers and now maybe those answers
are within reach. Thank you for
letting me share my story.
God bless,
Melissa
Mother of Devyn Kamera Johnson
Oct. 5, 2005-Oct. 7, 2005
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/d/de
vynswings/
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