This was my second pregnancy and my
husband and I were elated that we had
made it past the 1st trimester as my
first pregnancy ended in miscarriage
at 8 weeks. I was 17 weeks 2 days
along when I started feeling
discomfort in my abdomen whenever I
made a quick movement such as standing
up, sneezing or just rolling over in
bed. I attributed this to round
ligament pain and my rapidly growing
belly. Everything up until this point
had been fine besides some slight
spotting for a day around week 7.
I had a good night sleep and woke up
the next morning feeling fine with no
pain. I had considered the night
before calling my doctor but
everything I read said this type of
pain was normal, it wasn't severe or
crampy . So when I awoke the next
morning feeling better it was a relief
and I set out to run some
errands.
By the time I returned home the
discomfort had returned at about the
same level as the day before and I
decided I had overdone it. I noticed
it was specific to the left side of my
abdomen where I knew I had a giant
wopping melon sized fibroid. I had
grilled my OB about my fibroids before
TTC as I had numerous and large
fibroids which distorted my already
tipped uterous. She assured me they
rarely caused problems and are not
associated with miscarriage. I was
aware of the possibility of one or
more of them outgrowing their blood
supply during pregnancy and
degenerating. I was anticipating it
and believed that was what I was
experiencing.
The pain was still mild and as I said
had been coming and going. It being
Saturday I was reluctant to call the
doctors answering service. I spent the
rest of the day taking it easy. By the
middle of that night the pain on my
left side had become searing every
time I moved. I called the answering
service in the wee hours Sunday
morning and they told me it did indeed
sound like a degenerating fibroid, to
shower, eat something and go to
L&D.
When the doctor on call saw me he
asked me some questions about the pain
felt my abdomen made a comment under
his breath about getting into this
business to deliver babies and sent me
home with prescription strength
Motrin. I commented on the way out of
the hospital to my husband that I
hoped he wasn't on call when the time
came to deliver this baby!
Monday I still had discomfort but made
the effort to get to work and at least
put in a half day. Tuesday was the
last day I was to take the Motrin and
still was having pain. I passed what
looked like dead tissue that morning
in the toilet. Not a lot, not bloody
but rather a very light pink but
mostly white. Part of the dying
fibroid I was sure. I decided I would
go to work which was closer to the
hospital than my home and call the OB
about it.
I started climbing the stairs to my
office and felt a leaking sensation. I
checked my panties in the ladies room
and found they were more than damp but
not bloody at all. I mentioned the
sensation of leaking to the doctor as
well as the earlier passed tissue and
was told to head straight to labor and
delivery.
First thing I was asked when I got
there was to pee in a cup. When I
squatted over the toilet to fulfill
the nurses request I felt a pop and a
gush of water poured over the cup in
my hand and into the toilet. Now my
heart was racing because I knew my
water had broke. I told the nurse and
she quickly brought a doc in who did
an ultrasound to find I had lost all
of my water. The babies heart was
going strong but I was told there was
nothing they could do to save him. My
choices were terminate the pregnancy
or wait for it to end on its own and
risk infection. I was six weeks away
from viability and she said it would
be a miracle were I to hold on to the
baby that long and if I did it would
still be a long shot for the baby. A
short life filled with pain and
disabilities was the best we could
hope for. My husband and I were told
we did not have to decide immediately.
I could be admitted and think about it
after talking with the Perinatologist
the next day or if I felt more
comfortable going home I could do that
and return to the hospital in the
morning for my appointment with the
Peri.
I opted to go home. I drank TONS of
water and stayed virtually motionless
in bed besides using the bathroom. In
the end the decision was made for us
when the next morning I felt something
protruding from my vagina. My husband
called the hospital and they asked him
to look and see what it was. I was
horrified when he told the nurse on
the phone that they were feet! I went
by ambulance to not the nearest
hospital but what the EMT's said would
be the best for me. At the time I had
no idea what they were talking about,
my baby had no chance, what difference
did it make?
We waited hours for the doctor to come
and deliver our baby as they were
certain by the color of his feet that
there was no rush. When he was finally
delivered on 8/18/04 we found out he
was a boy, 8.8 oz and 8.25" long. One
of the nurses took him and began
bathing and dressing him. She asked us
if we had a name for him. My husband
and I were numb with all that had
happened and thought that dressing up
our dead baby was morbid and bizarre.
Did we want pictures? Was she nuts!
She asked if I wanted to hold him and
I said no. She left him in the room
with us and after a while my head
began to clear. I did want to hold
him, to name him, to have his picture
taken. I loved him so much, I missed
him already and would regret it for
the rest of my life if I didn't make
the most of this time with him.
I've never cried so much in all my
life as I did in those two days and
the months that followed. I'm writing
this through tears now! It definately
changed us both. It was horrible but
through it all I had so much to be
thankful for. My amazing husband, the
EMT's and the hospital staff who knew
what we needed when we hadn't a clue.
Thank God they had the patience and
forsight to give us time. Time to
think and time to build precious
memories with our son Aidan.
After major myomectomy (fibroid
removal) in January I'm pregnant
again. 10 weeks and terrified. I felt
that the fibroids were to blame for
our loss of Aidan. But doctors are not
conviced. All tests came back negative
after autopsy. He was perfectly
healthy, there was no infection, no
chromosome abnormalities and the cord
and placenta were healthy. IC cannot
be proven but also not ruled out. I'm
really, REALLY worried mainly because
I don't have confidence in the medical
community. I felt strongly that I was
pushed through the system because most
pregnancies succeed. Even though I had
crazy fibroids, advanced maternal age
and PCOS it was business as usual and
look what has happened!
Sorry so negative but I've read many
of your stories and see the same lack
of passion in your doctors that I saw
in mine. I mean who sends a pregnant
woman home untreated with an infection
and instructions to see their doctor
when the office eventually reopens in
3 days? The agony of waiting should be
enough for this to never happen.
Anyone else here who has had issues
with fibroids or feels helplessly lost
in the medial care machine?
Dara
Mother to my Angel Aiden
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