hello everybody, after drying my eyes,
i finally worked up enough courage tob
tell my story. On april 6th my husband
took me to the emergency room because i
felt i had some abnormal
discharge,after having an ultrasound
the radiologist found my cervix to be
1.7 cm to short but nothing to worry
about he said thats what caused the
discharge. We also found out that were
having a boy!! This made so excited
and so happy to know that everything
was ok; espically after our first
pregnancy was lost to miscarriage
@12wks on aug 14, 04. Two days later
while at my routine ob visit, my dr.
deceided to do an internal exam because
he disagreed with the hospitals
findings. While he was doing the
internal he also deceided to remove a
cervical polyp before i could tell him
to leave it alone. I wanted him to
leave it because i had a bad feeling of
what might happen if he removed it.
After he removed the polyp and checking
my cervix, he thought my cervix felt
normal but sent me to a perinatologist
for a second opionion
less than 20 minutes later. Well even
the peri thought my cervix was normal,
but sent me home with limited activity
because the dr. had removed the
polyp. Two days later while laying in
bed, my water broke. After wating in
the hospital
for 2 hours, i was finally given an
ultrasound where it was confirmed that
my water broke. I sat there watching
the moniter, with my little boy not
being able to move, but still seeing
his little heart beating as strong as
can be. When tha dr. come in she had
told me that very rarely do membranes
repair themselves, and in 12 hours they
will do another u/s to see if fluid is
replenishing. In the morning my ob came
the hospital to explain my situation to
me. He had explained that my white
blood cells were elevated the night
before, which was why they were giving
me anti-biotics. He was not sure if
infection was before or after the
rupture. He than proceeded to tell me
that i had two options; i could be
induced into labor or i could have a
d&E. My dr. felt that because i was to
emotional, inducing labor would not be
the best thing for me. Two hours later
he came back into to room to open my
cervix before the d&e;i must explain
that my cervix was completely
closed,even after my water broke. It
was about four hours after my cervix
was dialated that they did the d&e,and
took my little boy from me. I woke up
and it was all over, my baby was
gone,and i wanted god to have taken me
along with him. I still cannot
understand how your life and happiness
can change over the course of 24 hours,
it really stinks. I must admit i am
glad i did wake up, i could never want
to leave my wonderfull husband. It is
however, only now that i am questioning
my doctor and the hospital. I was never
given a second u/s to check the fluid
levels, nor was i given a chance to
consult a second opinion; and after
reading alot of prom stories, i
cant
stop blaming myself for even allowing
the doctor to do all of this; i just
thought he was acting in my best
interest, and doing what what was best
for my health and safety. Has anybody
else experienced
this, prom with no bleeding, and a
closed cervix? I desperately need to
hear from somebody who has because i
cant help but think of all those women
who have experienced
prom, even earlier than me. Maybe
something could have been done, maybe
if we could have taken the lets wait
and see approach, maybe i could have
hung in there like alot of the mommies
that delivered their babies prom, and
were able to see them gain weight,
grow,and evevtually take home my baby.
I feel such denial, such a loss, and so
much guilt for letting doctors deceide
whats best for me. I hope i am not the
only one feeling these feelings. If
anybody else has experienced something
similar please e-mail me. I thank you
all for allowing me to vent, it made me
feel a little better.
Hugs and love to all
jodi noel,
I am mommy to Ethan Richard Noel, who
who became an angel on 4-11-05
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