On Sunday January 2nd 2005 at 3am, I
woke up in a pool of what I believed
to be urine. I stood up to run to the
bathroom and more fluid just seeped
down. I called the OB and was told to
come into the hospital to be checked.
After a few tests they determined that
my water did break. They put me on
complete bedrest and antibiotics via
IV. When the morning came they sent a
tech to do an ultrasound and found
there was only 2 cm of fluid remaining
with the baby. They weren't very
optimistic, but I held out alot of
hope. On Wed, they sent a
Perinatalogist from another hospital
to check me over again, and via
ultrasound found that there was less
then 1/2 cm of fluid remaining at this
point, even though I never felt it
come out again, it must have been
seeping when I used the bedpan. They
arranged for me to go the hospital
where the Perinatalogist was from 1
1/2 hours from home on Friday morning
Jan 7th 2005.
When I arrived there I couldnt help
but wonder if I was making the right
decision to induce. I had read the
survival stories here, but most of the
situations seemed so different. I had
no Group B Strep, so they had no
reasoning behind why this was
happening to me.
When the nurse came in to talk to us
about what would happen, I just had to
ask for them to check again before
proceeding. I went down for another
ultrasound and there was now 0 fluid
remaining. at 930 am they gave me
Citadel to dialate me and the wait
began. At 3:25pm my beautiful son
Michael was born. Unfortunately he
had already passed on. We were able
to hold him, kiss him, cuddle him,
tell him how much we love him. The
chaplin came and gave him a
Batism.
I was worried about what it would be
like to see him or hold him. He
looked no different from a full term
baby, except he was tiny (7oz, 8 1/2
in) and his skin was translucent.
They took pictures of him, washed and
dressed him. Wrapped him in a
beautiful blanket with a teddybear.
(All which they gave us to take home)
I tell you this because all of these
little things give us peace. We have
a part of him. The babybook they gave
us has all the information about the
day, a photo, his footprints, his
bracelet, a gold ring to wear around
my neck. All the stuff I will
treasure forever.
If you are ever in this situation and
your outcome is going to be like mine,
please consider spending some time
with your baby. Its the best way to
come to peace with things.
I know that our son is in a better
place, and will be our guardian angel
and watch over us.
If anyone has experienced this and has
gone on to have a successful
subsequent pregnancy, Iwould love to
hear about it, please email me at
Tara23U@aol.com
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