I awoke at 2am to feel my waters
gushing out. I knew something was
wrong, phoned delivery suite who told
me to get to Emergency dept. There I
was told I was about to miscarry,
prepare for a D&C.
All I wanted was to have a cup of tea
and a cigarette & a chance to
think.The Dr's said I had to be NBM
for D&C.
I refused D&C unless I developed
infection - I wanted to let nature
take it's course.They kept me in
emerg, finally I saw head O&G who said
I could wait & see. Either I would go
into labour, or need D&C due to
infection, or preg may continue but
outcome looked very grim with no
measurable fluid &still leaking- 95%
chance baby's lungs wouldn't grow & he
would die at birth.
Although I was only 17wks I had
already felt my baby moving & had an
ultrasound at 13wks which showed he
was a boy. I already loved him so
much, he was a planned pregnancy & I
just couldn't give up when he still
had a chance of being OK (<5% but
better than odds of winning lotto &
people do that everyday).
This was the hardest decision of my
life.A crystal ball would have made it
easier to decide & justify my choice
to others who were unsupportive of my
decision.
Instead I put my trust in God to do
what was best for my son.I knew He
would not let my baby or any of us
suffer more than we could bear.
Even though i chose to continue preg,
at no time did I feel determined to
have the baby or certain of the
outcome.I had prepared myself for more
heartache & horror at any moment. I
felt so guilty for putting family &
friends through this, guilty for
wanting to continue a preg that would
most likely end in my poor baby
suffering either a painful death or a
painful life.But I just could not
terminate unless I had to
(infection).
Although preg was planned my partner
of 6yrs left a week after we found out
(4/40). Hosp made me ph him to tell
him of PPROM, he said he didn't want
anything to do with me or baby. As I
have 7y.o. daughter I stayed with my
mum & her partner so someone could be
with her if I miscarried during
night.
Preg cotinued, fluid kept leaking
different amounts all the time with no
pattern or cause. I always leaked more
if I lay down- so I didn't, I slept
with 8 pillows in a sitting
position.
At 23 wk I was referred to specialist
hosp with NICU, Dr's said outcome very
grim again offered termination. This
was despte my fluid levels returning
to normal(9cms) for 3 wks.
They said staying in hosp would not
change outcome of preg
& might not have been good for my
overall health as I had no family or
friends nearby.
So I stayed at mum's with my daughter
& animals, kept paying rent on my
house & drove an hour to hosp each
week (sometimes twice a week) for
checkups.
At 26wks I woke up bleeding alot. I
had a checkup that day & was admitted
to delivery. It was not labour so they
gave me 2 X steroids incase & sent me
home.
At 27 wks I was still offered
termination!? My placenta had torn
which clotted only when baby didnt
move. I was leaking more than 5
maternity pads(soaked) each day but
baby kept growing & moving a bit each
day too. Bleeding changed from day 2
day, fluid loss got worse as baby
grew.
All this was upsetting for everyone
even people I had never met, very few
agreed with my choice not to
terminate.
I felt I couldn't think straight.
Throughout all this I saw 12 different
Dr's(public patient) who all said
slightly diff things - do drive - dont
drive, yes antibiotics-no
antibiotics.... I felt temporarily
insane.
At 33wk checkup(New Years Eve) 1pm Dr
saw no fluid on u/s,
fetal monitor same, no warning of my
labour starting in 4hrs so we drove
home 100kms from nearest NICU.
At 5pm I started to feel tight which
was frequent since I ruptured so I
wasnt worried. Usually these
tightenings would relax after 1/2 hr
but not this time, by 6pm I was
concerned. About 7.30pm I felt first
pain & started timing at the second
pain, they were not regular or getting
worse.
Ihad a shower then I just knew that I
was in labour even without regular
pains.I got to nearest hosp ASAP,
pains still were not reg but now I
couldnt even walk. I was to transfer
out quickly but my treating hosp had
no room left in NICU so we had to find
other hosp which took time, then we
had to wait over an hour for an
ambulance as it was New Years Eve&
they wre flat out(70+ calls in
55mins). By time ambulance arrived I
was 4cm dilated &fully effaced.
In the ambulance the midwife told me
they would pull over when I needed to
push as it wasnt safe to deliver
whilst moving.I asked if she could
intubate & bag my baby till we got to
the hospital. She said no.
So I shut my eyes & mouth & prayed I
would not have to push till we got
there. The only other words I spoke
were to ask the ambo's how long till
we were at the hosp?
We got there in half the normal time
with lights and sirens.
We arrived at emergency at 2.12am my
son was born in delivery at
2.19am
He made a little noise trying to cry.
I touched his arm, cut the cord &
watched the Drs work on my baby to
save him.
I saw he stopped breathing, the Drs
stabilised him to transfer to NICU
then he stopped breathing again & his
heart stopped too. Those brilliant Drs
at Westmead got him back then took him
to NIC.
I had to wait 2 &1/2 hrs to see him.
He was just so perfect, 2230gms,
40.5cm long, hc 30cms.
Drs said just wait & see, he had a
good chance but there was still risk
of infection(swallowed meconium) &
lungs may still collapse when taken
off the ventilator.
L.J. came off ventilation at 30hrs,
off CPAP after another 30hrs. At 6
days he was transferred to my local
hosp special care nursery.He had not
had a bleed into his brain, he was
tolerating tube feeds & had even tried
a suck, IV fluids were stopped. By day
16 he was all breastfeeds & growing
well, he had not had an apnoea since 3
days old.
On day 18 I brought home my perfect
baby boy. He is now 4 months old, he
can see & hear & smiles all the
time.
He was hospitalised again at 9 wks old
for surgery to repair an inguinal
hernia which was unrellated to
PPROM.
Also he suffers terribly with colic
which is slowly improving. He still
has to have specialist checkups due to
his prematurity & we wont know if he
has learning difficulties until he is
older,but I feel he is perfect.
I share my experience in the hope that
it may bring comfort to someone. I
only found this website a couple of
months ago& it was still of comfort to
me to hear that Drs from all around
the world said the same as my
Drs.
My prayers go out to every family who
experience PPROM.
Especially those who lost their little
angels.
I still dont know why this happened to
me, any of it
I just thank God for every minute I
have with my loved ones.
If anyone wants to email me feel free
add is ; gnugnu@dodo.com.au
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