My name is Darla. I never thought that I
would have any problems with pregnancy,
since it was so easy for us to conceive.
In July of 2002 I became pregnant on
our first try. 7 weeks later I found out
that it was an oblighted ovum. It was
devistating, but we have alot of faith
and figured it happened for a reason.
After our doctors approval, we tried
again after 2 normal periods and BINGO!
we were pregnant again. We waited until
we were 12 weeks to tell anybody because
of our first heartache. I had a very
pleasant pregancy - a little tired, but
other than that I felt great. I always
told people, "I feel really good, and
that almost scares me!" I always told my
co-workers that my biggest fear was that
something would happen while I was
working and be put in the hospital for
something, so I always wanted to make
sure my desk was kept up. We went for
our 20 week check up and our baby looked
great! At the time we did not know what
we were having - the baby gave us thumbs
up on the u/s. It was so great because
my in-laws came along with my husbands
grandma - I thought how cool will that
be for our child to tell people that
their Great-Grandma seen them in side
the womb! Well, almost a week later,
about 1:30am on a monday morning, my
worst nightmare came true! Literally! I
had just drempt a few weeks before that,
that I had the baby prematurely and it
was a beautiful little girl with lots of
brown hair! Well, I got up to go to the
bathroom and when I returned to bed, I
felt my underpants wet - I really
thought it was probably my bladder. So I
got back up to change my underware and
look up in my week by week pregnancy
book to see what it may mean. It said
that it's hard to determain if it's
urine or water, if it got worse to call
your doctor immediatly and then I went
back to bed. I laid there wondering if I
should wake my husband up or if I was
just jumping to conclusions. Then my
underware became wet again. So I got up
and woke my husband up and said - "I
think something is wrong" and I started
to cry. As I panicked and went to the
bathroom again, water was running down
my leg. My husband said to call the
doctor, so I did, she said to go into
the emergency room just to get checked
out. We hurried and got dressed and my
husband sped off. Trying to calm me down
and cheer me up by saying "this is just
a practice run honey - don't worry" We
got to the hospital and was immedialy
checked in. A young doctor came in and
checked me. He said that my water had
broke and I was dialated to 2cm. He said
this in not good news and I'm sorry. The
nurses put me on a monitor for the baby
- she was doing great. The nurse even
said "Baby is holding on" strong
heartbeat - I though we may have a
chance. My husband immietly called my
sister, she came to the hospital and
they called my parents and they were on
their way - they both lived up north and
it would take my mom 4 hours to get down
(there was a bad snow storm that
day)fortunalty, my dad was already in
town. They took me down to do another
u/s - not good, there was really no
water around the baby. My husbands
cousin is our doctor. She was not the
doctor on call that day. We had another
doctor from the practice, who was great.
But my husband really wanted to talk to
his cousin to be reasurred. She said
that there was not a good chance that
the baby would make it. We were than
transferred to a high risk hospital for
pregancy. My husbands cousin arranged
for us to be seen by the best doctor in
the field. He then told us that I was
not dialated and he would have to
insert, what looked like little
toothpicks to dialate me. We were going
to opt for the D&E, I was way to
horrified to go into labor and deliver a
baby that I would not be bring home! I
mentally could not handle that. Well the
doctor said he felt that for my health
it was probably better to try and
deliver by being induced instead of
having the surgury. If I had not
delivered by 7am the next morning
(4/8/03) he would do the surgury. So
they admitted me to the hospital and
pumped me with IV's and put me on some
morphine to calm me. All our family
decided they would leave me and my
husband alone and decided to go home. My
husband really wanted it to just be us.
But I told him, my mom really needs to
stay, I think we will need her and we
did! For 6 hours I was in labor. My mom
and my husband sat at my bedside and
counted my contractions the whole time.
2 minutes apart and they lasted 45
seconds. The nurses kept checking me -
said I was not close it would still be
awhile. Well at 12:00am (4/8/03) I told
my mom, "the baby's coming" and at
12:20am the baby was born. My husband
and I decided we did not want to know
the sex. The names were going to be
Joseph if a boy and Ella if a girl. We
had joked during the pregancy and call
baby Joella! So we decide that's what we
would name the baby. They immediatly
took me in for a D&C when I would not
deliver the placenta. I heard them tell
my mom and husband that I may need a
blood transfusion since I was bleeding
so bad. I came out of surgury, my thoat
hurt from being intibated. I heard the
nurse call in my file to release me back
to my room. I heard her say "Baby girl"
and I knew, I had a baby girl. I
confirmed with the nurse and she said
"yes". When I got back to my room at
4:30am - my husband crawled on the bed
with me and I told him, "we had a baby
girl" we then knew her name would be
Ella Francis - My grandfather, who had
died before I was born was named
Francis, his birthday was April 7th. My
brother-in-law handled all of Ella's
funeral arrangements. I'm so glad we did
not go thru with the surgury and that I
delivered Ella. It gave me some feeling
of being her mom and trying to do the
best I could. There was no signs of
infection and really no explaination of
why it happened. We are anxious to try
again, but terrified it will happen
again. My priest asked the question to
all of us "why did god do this?" If he
intended on taking our little girl, why
did he even let us conceive her? Well,
If she was never conceived, she would
have never returned to god's arms. We
have 7 grand-parents between my husband
and I, and we know that she has a
grand-parent for every day of the week
in heaven and we are certain that they
fight over her everyday!
That's Ella's story and she will always
be our first born and our little angle
watching over us from heaven! I miss
her everyday and somtimes think I still
feel her.
Please feel free to email mail me if you
would like to talk. I have been looking
everywhere for a support group. Maybe I
have found it here.
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