After trying to concieve for 3 years,
including one m/c @ 6 weeks and months
of fertility drugs, we finally got pg in
April 2001. It seemed everything was
going well. I had an ultrasound at 12
weeks and saw the baby moving around. I
was so excited that my dream was coming
true at last!
At 16 weeks while I was laying on the
couch watching TV I felt a pop then a
warm gush. My first thought was "Oh GOD
please don't let that be blood". It
was clear fluid and a lot of it. We went
straight to the hospital and I was
admitted. The tests they did were
inconclusive to wether it was indeed
amniotic fluid or not. After the
ultrasound it was clear. The baby had
almost no fluid around it. The next day
we had another ultrasound. Bad news. The
fluid was still dangerously low. The
doctor came in and told us about the
risk of infection and advised us to have
labor induced. I had just seen my baby
on that u/s screen. I just heard his
heart beating. There was NO WAY that I
would induce. I felt like that would
have been an abortion. I was willing to
risk infection, hoping that the
membranes would reseal and all would be
fine. I kept thinking, I have to make it
til at least 24 weeks. Honestly at the
time I was thinking if I got an
infection I didn't care. I didn't want
to live with out my son.The third day
they did another u/s. The fluid was
starting to replenish itself. They sent
me home on antibiotics & strict bed rest
( only to get up to go to the bathroom &
for 2 showers a week) . Freddie, my
husband, took excellent care of me
during that time.
At 18 weeks and 3 days my temperature
shot up and I began having contractions.
At the hospital I was informed that I
had an infection and I was 3 cm
dialated. The baby would be born soon.
My heart was broken. Ryan Wayne was born
at 5:29 am the next day (July28, 2001).
We both held him and had pics taken. I
was holding him when he died, and for a
good hour afterwards. He was so perfect.
Just very tiny. Oh how I wish I could
have some answers as why this happened.
All I get from the doctors is "we just
don't know". That isn't enough for
me. I don't know how I will ever get
over this. I can't imagine trying
again. The thought of going through this
again is so frightening.
I had to stay in the hospital for an
additional 2 days while they ran IV
antibiotics thru me to fight the
infection I had. We buried Ryan 2 days
after I was home from the hospital.We
will miss him forever.
PROM Story
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